Grant me patience right now

December 03, 2018 11:12 AM

Each of us has our breaking point.

It’s that dreaded moment of surrender when we’ve hung in there for as long as we possibly can, but we just can’t take it anymore.

And so, we give up. Or break down. Or run away crying. And that’s okay. We’re all human. We all have limits. The intensity of the environmental stress necessary to reach this moment may vary from person to person, but eventually, everybody breaks.

The goal, then, is deepening our stamina. Expanding our psychological bandwidth. Training our head and heart to last longer and longer, so that our breaking point happens later and later.

To do this, we must not only understand the value of patience, but also treat it as a muscle that needs practice to grow. Which is kind of absurd, if you think about. It’s like we need to be patient to realize its rewards.

Nevertheless, here’s an insight from my favorite psychotherapist monk. It helped me reframe my thinking around this issue:

Patience isn’t about letting someone walk all over you, it’s a conscious decision to let things go.

This is not an insignificant distinction. The story we tell ourselves about our breaking point is as important as the moment we reach it. And if we have any intention of growing that muscle, of increasing our ability to endure great stress before suddenly cracking open, reframing our basic understanding of patience is a great place to start.

Forget about what the cynics say. Patience is not just another word for getting old. It’s not procrastination without the anxiety. It’s not the ability to postpone gratification and to bridle our passions. And it’s not just waiting around with our thumbs up our asses.

It’s letting go.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…