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Rubin’s book about being happier at home clarifies a crucial distinction between two personalities. Both have different answers to the following question.  How do you deal with managing a strong temptation?    Her research found that for some people, occasional indulgence heightens their pleasure and strengthens their resolve. They get panicky and rebellious at the thought of never getting or doing something. These people are called moderators.    But…

Carlin used to do this classic comedy bit about converting to a solar religion.    Sun worship is fairly simple. There are no crucifixions, and we’re not setting people on fire simply because they don’t agree with us. There’s no mystery, no miracles, no pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we don’t have a special building where we all gather once a…

Kidman, in her stellar performance in the award winning racing movie, makes the following speech to her driver and then husband.  I’m going to let you in on a secret that most other people know. Control is an illusion. Nobody knows what’s going to happen next. Not on a freeway, and certainly not on a racetrack with other infantile egomaniacs. Nobody controls anything. You’ve had a glimpse of that,…

Our feelings are not right or wrong, good or evil, positive or negative, legal or illegal.  They simply are.  There is need to rank and judge them, or even beat ourselves up for having them. Just because a rush of furious anger, unexpected morbidity or unexplainable joy runs through our veins, doesn’t mean the feelings police are going to bang down the door drag us to the station.  And…

Every television network has a department of standards and practices.   They’re responsible for the moral, ethical and legal implications of any program that the network airs. They’re the people who send out tens of thousands of hilarious puritanical memos like this.   Presenters please avoid exposing bare fleshy under curves of the buttocks and buttock crack. Bare sides or under curvature of the breasts is also problematic.   This makes total…

All of us have obsolete things in our lives.  Maybe a dream that once brought us joy, but now has fulfilled its purpose.  Maybe an item that we made a special effort to acquire, but we no longer use.  Maybe a career we wanted when we were different people with different needs, but no longer applies.  Or maybe a relationship that was meaningful at a previous life stage, but…

Sanders, the hall of fame running back, spent ten years playing pro football.  He earned dozens of rushing and touchdown records.  But at the ripe age of thirty, taking time to sort through his feelings and make sure that they were backed with conviction, the fastest guy in the league decided to walk away.  He took one good look in the mirror and said, it’s time for me to…

Fromm writes: As long as anyone believes that his ideal and purpose is outside him, that it is above the clouds, in the past or in the future, he will go outside himself and seek fulfillment where it cannot be found. He will look for solutions and answers at every point except where they can be found, in himself.  Proving, that meaning is made and not found. Joy is…

Rogers, the great humanistic psychologist, pioneered the concept of unconditional positive regard.  It’s the basic acceptance and support of a person regardless of what they say or do.  Although this theory originally developed within the context of client centered therapy, the intrapersonal applications are just as important.  Because in the deeply complicated relationship with ourselves, we can achieve unconditional positive regard as well. We can love ourselves anyway.  Ellis,…

Are you about to embark on one of those soul searching quests?  Perhaps setting off down a long spiritual path to find yourself?  If so, here is my benediction for you.  May you find what you’re looking for, but may you still love yourself if you don’t.  Because despite your noblest intentions, there are no guarantees of enlightenment. Just like there are no inoculations from hell. That’s where the…