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Determining the market value of your talents is difficult. Pinpointing the vehicle of your uniqueness requires the intersection of two types of understanding. Knowing thyself, and knowing thy customer. Here are a few questions that have been helpful in the appraisal of my own value, both as an entrepreneur and an employee. Let’s start with the first category. Knowing thyself. Answers to these questions will no doubt have patterns…

Here’s a testimonial that makes me proud as a businessperson. It comes from a client who rented my brain to help grow her nonprofit. ‘ Gilly commented that she had always been a supporter of the approach that mentoring should not be a paid activity, as this has the potential to change the dynamics of the relationship and create a power imbalance. But after my first email response following…

Here’s the text of an actual email that showed up in my inbox once. Scott, our chamber of commerce recently ordered new name tags with the new logo for all the directors and staff. Some of the directors are very pleased with their nametags, while others are not so impressed. We have written an article for our newsletter on the benefits of wearing of nametags, as per the article…

People are not machines. Trying to measure humanity fragments our understanding of it. We need to start accepting ourselves as an inherent part of nature, just like the trees and the animals themselves. Bateson, the illustrious anthropologist and social scientist, made the observation that the difference between the way human beings think and the way nature works is, nature doesn’t measure. Nature deals only with the pattern which connects,…

Culture is everyone’s job. It’s made up of everyone and every interaction in the company. If it’s happening at the organization, it’s a part of our culture. Whether we like it or not. There is no such thing as nonexistent culture. It’s either intentional or not. Years ago, one of my junior coworkers was bemoaning the fact that our company culture had become unfriendly and overly professional. Pretty standard…

We can’t become mediocre friends with too many people. Because as we grow older, our days go faster than we think, and the fewer opportunities we have to be with those people. The upside is, the knots grow tighter on the ropes that bind us. When we’re apart, we think to ourselves, wow, isn’t it wonderful that we actually want to be friends with our friends? What blessing. The…

Desire doesn’t have to be specific or passionate to be real. It’s okay to want something from a place or simplicity and generality. Just because we don’t check the boxes of white hot longing and obsession doesn’t mean our feelings aren’t legitimate and shouldn’t be honored. The challenge is, we buy into these culturally sanctioned stories about what our desires should look like. Unwritten rules about what’s okay to…

If we’re not connecting with other people in ways that create genuine relationships of meaning and depth, then why are we even here? Those precious connections are the cleanest, most life giving fuel that helps us to meet the demands of reality. These relationships structure our very selves. Those closest to us contribute to making us who we are. But the thing is, these bonds are not free. All…

If it’s true that you can’t love anybody until you love yourself first, then the opposite must also be true. You can’t hate anybody until you hate yourself first. Look around. Anytime you observe someone acting in a hateful way towards others, that’s not an accident. It’s a release valve. They’re trying to pay the pain forward. Because when you hate yourself, the only thing that makes you feel…

My mentor had habit of asking penetrating questions that rocked me to my core. One in particular stuck with me, which he originally asked when I was trying to end an unhealthy relationship. Are you allowing this person to create a future with you that you’re obligated to be a part of? Not an easy thing to ask yourself. But what he was trying to teach me was, don’t…