Blog

You have bought into the story that this is progress.  Instead of wisely cutting your losses and getting on with your life, you keep nobly persisting, refusing to take no for an answer, chasing down leads for opportunities that are ridiculously out of your reach, believing that your passion and personal stamina will actually make a difference.  Because just like your mother always said: You’re special and different and…

The problem with a diary is, it’s private.  Which means we can hide. Even if our words are raw and honest and bloody and real, with a diary, the risk and vulnerability and intimacy associated with sharing our truth with the world have all been eliminated from the equation.  It’s just more winking in the dark.  Not to minimize the importance of privacy and the value of keeping a diary. Studies…

I have an entrepreneur friend whose business operates at a snail’s pace.  Each of her projects take several months concept, several more months to incubate, and in many cases, several years to execute.  Which isn’t abnormal for a small business owner, it’s simply the polar opposite of my own creative personality.  Personally, my approach is to aim for volume, not accuracy. To ship things impatiently, imperfectly and prolifically until I fall…

Kohn’s definitivecritiqueof competition gave language to a deep belief I’ve held my entire life, but could never clearly articulate.  He argues that we have a competitive code in our chromosomes. The frantic scramble for position, prestige, profit and power is hardwired into us. Our biological roots tell us that life is fundamentally a competition, and we must construe our world in win or lose terms.  As such, we’ve crafted…

The worst thing you can do is tell yourself that your pain is not important.  That your struggle is not valid.  Come, now. Have some respect for your own suffering. Give weight to what happened to you. And if at all possible, find safe places to share it. Find ways to use your pain in a way that benefits other people.  Because the other destructive lie we tell ourselves is…

Failure to execute is rarely due to a lack of internal knowledge, but a lack of external pressure.  Most people know exactly what they need to do. They just need another human being to create a greater sense of expectation around doing it.  And so, next time you notice a friend, coworker or employee struggling to finish their project, try this.  Instead of rushing in as the lord of…

Toxic people don’t go away, won’t make exceptions, refuse to accept help, never learn their lessons, rarely modify their behavior, never take responsibility and seldom realize they’re doing anything wrong.  They are the constants in the equation of human interaction.  Which is an infuriating feature of reality, but the sooner we accept that we can’t change or fix people, we can only change and fix our responses to them, the freer…

There’s a significant difference between being controlling and being in control of the quality of your life.  One is the obsessive need to exercise control over yourself and others and take command of every situation.  The other is the empowered efficacy of crafting a life that matches your vision of principled living.  One is an attempt to dictate how everything is done around you through micromanaging perfectionism.  The other…

Most of us have the capacity to be kind and compassionate toward others, but when it comes to looking in the mirror, we’re much less forgiving.  That relationship is far to antagonistic.  Extending unconditional love for all the parts of ourselves is a terrifying prospect.  I was attending a lecture series at my local coworking space when this very topic came up. The man next to me said: We’re…

Buffet’s most quotable piece of investment advice is, you don’t know who’s naked until the tide goes out.  Meaning, in a recession, the weak will weed themselves out. The down economy will force companies to decide if their product is a necessity and test whether or not they deserve to be in business.  That same insight applies to our inner lives as well.  Because in many cases, we don’t…