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Toxic people don’t go away, won’t make exceptions, refuse to accept help, never learn their lessons, rarely modify their behavior, never take responsibility and seldom realize they’re doing anything wrong.  They are the constants in the equation of human interaction.  Which is an infuriating feature of reality, but the sooner we accept that we can’t change or fix people, we can only change and fix our responses to them, the freer…

There’s a significant difference between being controlling and being in control of the quality of your life.  One is the obsessive need to exercise control over yourself and others and take command of every situation.  The other is the empowered efficacy of crafting a life that matches your vision of principled living.  One is an attempt to dictate how everything is done around you through micromanaging perfectionism.  The other…

Most of us have the capacity to be kind and compassionate toward others, but when it comes to looking in the mirror, we’re much less forgiving.  That relationship is far to antagonistic.  Extending unconditional love for all the parts of ourselves is a terrifying prospect.  I was attending a lecture series at my local coworking space when this very topic came up. The man next to me said: We’re…

Buffet’s most quotable piece of investment advice is, you don’t know who’s naked until the tide goes out.  Meaning, in a recession, the weak will weed themselves out. The down economy will force companies to decide if their product is a necessity and test whether or not they deserve to be in business.  That same insight applies to our inner lives as well.  Because in many cases, we don’t…

Few skills are more underrated than knowing how to approach an overwhelming task.  It’s one of those universal human experiences that each of us confronts at numerous points in our lives.  But the good news is, even though the undertaking in front of us can feel like building a brick wall to infinity, that doesn’t make it impossible. Difficult and scary and overpowering and dreadful, but not impossible.  Since…

Embarking on a creative career, or any creative endeavor, is a fundamentally irrational act.  Announcing to the world: Listen up everybody, I’m going to take my precious time, which is the only asset that I will never be able to get back, and use that time to create something that nobody needs, wants or even likes That’s pure crazy talk.  And yet, creativity is still the only currency we…

Going to happy hour with our friends might not land us a date with the man of our dreams.  But what the experience will do is contribute to a posture and mindset and intention and proximity that will make us more receptive to the romantic opportunities we seek.  That’s how momentum works. It’s an accumulation of moments that move the story forward.  And so, even if we’re not in the mood,…

There’s nothing more galvanizing than the internal pressure of turning our brain over to a magnificent obsession.  There’s nothing more satisfying than the external progress of turning the idea that fascinates us into something real in the world.  But somewhere along the journey from idea to execution, our ambition picks a fight with our patience.  We just want it to be in the world now. We unreasonably insist that…

I have a friend whose independent advertising agency was recently acquired by one of the largest technology companies in the world.  When asked what led to the merger, her response was: Being independent was no longer an advantage for us.  It’s fascinating moment. Not only for an organization, but for an individual.  The willingness to announce that going it alone has finally reached of a point of diminishing returns,…

Newton’s third law is a brilliant piece of interpersonal advice.  He discovered that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.  Which not only applies to objects in motion, but also humans in relationship.  Because the space between two people is generative. Whatever one person brings into that space, it will multiply exponentially and affect the other.  Stress is a common example. Once we’re in relationship with…