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Starting with why is a fine idea. But what about starting with who? As in, who you are? If it’s true that you are the most important person in your life, then it stands to reason that your true self should be the baseline from which all actions are taken. Because when you know who you are, every moment isn’t a moral challenge, it’s just a checklist. Motivation is…

Everybody want everything both ways. It’s the law of unreasonable incompatibility. Westerners use the idiom, you want to have their cake and eat it too. But this principle has its own quirky expression in just about every culture. Albania says, to take a swim and not get wet. Bulgaria says, to have the wolf fed and the lamb in tact. Italy says, to keep the barrel of wine with…

Decisiveness is a universal quality of successful people. The ability to make choices quickly and confidently, and not hastily and arrogantly, is precisely what gives us the ability to take action and move our story forward. However, when it comes to the deeply complicated issue of our identities, making a decision isn’t always necessary or even useful. Because we’re not supposed to be one thing in life. Part of…

Some people believe every choice they make is a significant life decision that will have a profound effect on the whole of their existence. The butterfly is forever flapping its wings. Anything could mean everything, and so, each move they make is carefully scripted and manicured. It’s not worth doing if it’s not worth over thinking first, right? God forbid their choices are not optimized for perfection. The problem…

In our world of infinite choice and constant distraction, it’s never been easier to bail on our plans with people. It seems that basic social contracts like setting a date and actually showing up on time have become a scarce commodity. Technology and psychology theorists blame this trend on a number of sources, some under our control and some not. But why people flake out doesn’t concern me as…

Loneliness of young people has reached epidemic proportions. Cigna’s widely cited study is affectionately calling the youngest of the individuals surveyed, the loneliest generation. That’s absolutely heartbreaking to me. Heartbreaking. And here’s why. Loneliness is not some mystifying, highly contagious disease that medical professionals have yet to find a cure for. It’s a choice. We may not be conscious that we’re making it, and it may not be an…

The irony of workaholism is, often times the greater the achievement, the deeper the emptiness. We make heroic effort, reach the climax, receive attention and approval from others, stimulate the reward system in our brain, and then we crash. And once the drug wears off, the darkness comes crashing in. Mean voices inside our head remind us that we’re actually unworthy and incompetent, and we had better get back…

People don’t need information, they need affirmation. Google can give them information to their heart’s content. But only a living, breathing human being can sit down, listen to that person’s story, look them in the eye, and say something like, oh wow, that really sucks. Or hey, you’re doing great, so keep it up. Or, yeah, that’s amazing, I knew you could do it, way to go. Affirmation really…

The brain does not reach full maturity until our middle twenties or thirties. Adolescence isn’t finished just because the word teen no longer appear in our age. It usually take two or three decades of life before we can genuinely build an adult understanding of the world. And so, if not a number, then what are the defining characteristics of adulthood? How do we know that we’re actually growing…

Determining the market value of your talents is difficult. Pinpointing the vehicle of your uniqueness requires the intersection of two types of understanding. Knowing thyself, and knowing thy customer. Here are a few questions that have been helpful in the appraisal of my own value, both as an entrepreneur and an employee. Let’s start with the first category. Knowing thyself. What is everybody always asking you about? What do…