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My mentor had habit of asking penetrating questions that rocked me to my core. One in particular stuck with me, which he originally asked when I was trying to end an unhealthy relationship. Are you allowing this person to create a future with you that you’re obligated to be a part of? Not an easy thing to ask yourself. But what he was trying to teach me was, don’t…

My mentor use to train his sales and customer service agents to give something called the response before the response. After a customer complained, employees would smile and say, that’s my favorite problem, and I’m the perfect person to help. Jeffrey said this attitude helped diffuse angry customers and set the tone for a positive interaction. What’s fascinating about this strategy is, it also works on ourselves. We can…

Doesn’t anybody like anyone anymore? Are we really so busy that we can’t be bothered to rustle up some respect for each another? Apparently not. Everyone is so critical, negative and angry. Our collective inability to find anything good about anyone is downright embarrassing. And at the risk of blaming technology for our interpersonal problems, here’s my theory. Computers make humans meaner. They give us permission to act from…

Here’s a cool paradox. For certain things, we don’t need as much as we think we do. And for other things, we need much more than we think we do. Take the concept of time. The story we’ve told ourselves is that if we only had a few more hours in the day or one extra day in the week, we’d cross off everything on our list. But time,…

Who has let you down in the past month? Maybe it was a friend who bailed on the concert at the last minute. Or a coworker who didn’t meet your project deadline. Perhaps a public figure who accidentally said something offensive during a press conference. Or maybe the barista at the coffee shop put the wrong kind of milk in your drink. The list goes on and on. There…

The most rewarding thing we can do is update our definition of humility. We accept that it’s not a strategy, program, goal, posture or technique. It’s not something we try to be. Nobody wakes up in the morning and just resolves to be humbler. We can’t slip on humility like a pair of wool socks. We can’t whip or will ourselves into a state of modesty like an ascetic…

Nothing seems crazy when you’re used to it. Whether it’s an abusive relationship, a toxic workplace, a compulsive habit, or some other harmful circumstance, you never realize how bad it was until you walk away and heal from it all. It’s only when you get to the other side and find the happiness you didn’t know you could feel, that you see your past with straight eyes. But that’s…

Multiple studies have shown that young people are having less sex than previous generations. The exact reasons for this trend are debatable, but one thing’s for sure. Sex isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom. What’s more concerning is our culture’s broader withdrawal from physical and emotional intimacy. And it’s hard not to appreciate the allure. Why waste our time and energy on the vulnerable, gradual and reciprocal exchange of…

Moderation has never really worked for my personality. Despite my best efforts to adopt an everything in moderation maxim, turns out I’m an all or nothing kind of guy. Timing and monitoring and measuring my effort doesn’t motivate me, it exhausts and frustrates me. Framing my level of activity and consumption as sensible, whatever the hell that means, only ruins the experience for me. Unlike some people, occasionally indulging…

Complaining is satisfying because it relieves tension, earns validation, builds connection and enables catharsis. What’s not to like? To quote one of my favorite comedians, the thing about sitting in your own shit is, it’s warm, it’s familiar and it’s yours. But the danger is when people spend more time complaining about their situation than solving it. Trapped in a doom loop of their own making, they forget one…