Pickup artists will often instruct lonely, shy men to boost their social confidence by taking advantage of dry runs. Engaging in shadowboxing opportunities before they enter into the ring.
For example, before hitting the clubs, a guy might stop by the mall for an hour. Specifically, the department stores. Why? Because there’s zero threat of rejection. Think about it. Every makeup counter and perfume spritzer and jewelry store in the city is guaranteed to be staffed with attractive women whose sole job function is to be nice to you. And compliment you. And flirt with you. And keep you engaged. Even if you don’t spend a dime. Because that’s their job. They’re professional conversationalists.
This creates a low threat arena where a shy guy can boost his confidence and build his momentum and prove to himself that approaching women is feasible and even enjoyable. That way, by the time he arrives at the club an hour later, he already has a few social victories under his belt. And that baseline of accomplishment positively influences everything he does.
Of course, this principle isn’t really about picking up girls. It’s about strategy. It’s about quietly getting better. It’s about slowly building your momentum in places where you’re less visible.
When I first started my career as a writer, I blogged under a pseudonym for an entire year. And I didn’t tell a soul. It was profoundly liberating. That level of anonymity allowed me to dissociate from the material, write about anything I wanted and take zero responsibility for anything that I said. And that daily practice built my confidence, unearthed my creative voice and ultimately encouraged me to go public with my thoughts in the future.
And so, whether you’re trying to get a date or advance a career, try a little shadowboxing. Get your muscles ready. Find your rhythm. Envision yourself facing your immediate future opponent.
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Where will you find a candle of confidence against the darkness?
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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.
“Scott Ginsberg’s employee training on approachability was the absolute perfect fit, and completely exceeded everyone’s expectations, including mine. The feedback we received from our team was that this was hands down the best training they have ever been to. Scott found out what was important to us and gave us several options for training solutions. I would highly recommend him for a variety of industries, and I would happily work with him again!” –Anne Conway, PHR | Corporate Director of Training and Development, | Lodging Hospitality Management
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