Anger management has been a field of study since day one.
Maybe before then.
Seneca and other philosophers have been offering advice for countering uncontrollable rage for the past two thousand years.
But what’s interesting is, people don’t need more resources for anger management. Because anger is a defensive feeling that protects another feeling. It’s just a roadmap to our real emotions. Which, the majority of the time, are grounded in fear.
And so, if we want to take responsibility for our anger, before punching a hole through the drywall, we might ask ourselves what we’re afraid of.
What’s scary to me right now? What old fear did this new anger just bring up for me?
Performance reviews come to mind. Employees who receive less than stellar evaluations quickly become angry, and occasionally spiral into a manic death rage that results in broken furniture and multiple teeth being knocked out:
This company is pathetic, the boss has his head up his ass, our clients are simpleton cheapskate jerkoffs, and the popcorn in the employee break room tastes like flavored styrofoam. I cast you all to the bowels of hell. Do you validate?
All of these things may be true. Something like a bad performance review can certainly provoke some genuine appropriate anger.
But at the core, it’s all fear.
Fear of being unwanted, unworthy, unemployed, insert other thing we’re scared of here.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you allowing your anger to be a constructive force rather than a destructive indulgence?
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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.
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