Searching for targets at which to spit our vitriol

If your entire identity centers around how much you hate someone or something else, you lost.

If you define yourself solely by what you dislike rather than what you enjoy, you’re not living.

Now, there’s no rule that says you have to love everything and everyone, but if your default response to the world is to demonize things, give problems even more energy and create unnecessary psychological fuel around them, then you’re building negative value for the rest of us.

I’m reminded of a widely quoted study from the national sociology review. It explores how the process of leaving deeply meaningful and embodied identities can be experienced as a struggle against addiction.

Scientists found that involvement in extreme hatred often includes a complete identity transformation, in much the same way a person describes opiate addiction. Researchers demonstrated that although we can’t definitively conclude whether involvement in hate produces a legit form of addiction, empirical evidence proves the sociological significance of addiction.

As an interesting side note, this very study was published on the homepage of the department of homeland security. Which means our country finally accepts the fact that we have a chemical dependence on hate.

And it’s not just our nation. This is a global pandemic. Covid ain’t got nothing on the negativity addiction that’s slowing wiping out the human race.

Because think about what that word actually means. As the aforementioned study states, addiction is defined as thoughts, emotions, bodily experiences, and unwanted behavior of a chronic, relapsing, and compulsive nature that occur despite negative consequences, characterized by episodes where people feel they have lost control.

Doesn’t that perfectly describe our culture right now?

Dozens of times a day, emotions like hate and anger give us powerful neurochemical hits. Searching for targets at which to spit our vitriol is intoxicating. It makes us feel alive and vital and motivated.

What’s more, we gain power and authority by putting everything down.

But not unlike snorting cocaine, those effects wear off very quickly. Which means the hit needs to be administered again. And again and again and again.

Uh oh. Pulse slowing. Haven’t flooded my brain with outrage porn in thirteen minutes. Must find new hate target. Must engage the infinite scroll of notifications and information that passes by at a steady clip. Must perpetually micro dose my brain with feel good chemicals.

But the question we have to be asking ourselves is, who would we be without any resentments? Are we trying to make the world a better place, or are we just worried about our favorite villain disappearing?

Look, we all have justifications for our resentments. Hate is attractive because it’s a cheap and quick way to cement people together. Our plethora of poisonous feelings is like a prized possession.

It’s our precious. We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us.

But isn’t it about time we started crafting our identities around things that were more life giving? Perhaps feelings like love and joy and compassion might release neurochemical hits that reduce our need to hate in the first place.

They may not feel as glamorous, rebellious and gratifying as shitting on the world all the time, but the long term health effects emotional sobriety are worth it.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Do you define yourself solely by what you dislike rather than what you enjoy?