Intimacy is the human catalyst for the experience of oneness

Multiple studies have shown that young people are having less sex than previous generations.

The exact reasons for this trend are debatable, but one thing’s for sure.

Sex isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom.

What’s more concerning is our culture’s broader withdrawal from physical and emotional intimacy.

And it’s hard not to appreciate the allure. Why waste our time and energy on the vulnerable, gradual and reciprocal exchange of authentic being, when we can simply numb it all out with technology, isolation and other drugs?

Speaking as someone who fled from intimacy for almost all of his twenties, it’s not worth it in the long run. Trust me.

Robinson wrote about this in his pivotal text on workaholism. He found that the reason so many workaholics are accused of romancing the grindstone is not necessarily because they love their work. What they love is the escape from intimacy that the work gives them. Immersion in work feels safe and secure for workaholics, whether or not the work itself is satisfying.

Wow, guilty on all counts. No wonder focusing my whole life on my business was so wonderful. It gave me a place where I could withdraw from intimacy from my romantic partners, from spirit and source, from the earth, from my friends and family, even from myself.

If only there was a time machine. First thing I would have done is go back in time and asked myself a few key questions.

Are you regularly talking to other real people in order to get yourself reflected back at you? Are you relying more on the people in your life, or are you forgetting that everything on your screen is pseudo intimacy?

Do you have enough places in your life to give and receive love? Are you consistently connecting with something loving that is bigger than you and letting it hold you?

Do you have trusted people who see you as you truly are, with all your secrets? How many friends and family members in your life can you share difficult emotions with? Do you have at least one person in your life with whom you are mutually responsive to each other’s needs?

If find yourself withdrawing from physical and emotional intimacy, sexually or otherwise, you’re not alone in that struggle. But try asking a few of those questions as barometers. Y

es, the gravity of intimacy is a peculiar and intimidating thing. It requires that we allow you to be you and me to be me. Which means letting go and letting gravity bring you gently to the ground, if only for a moment.

As my yoga teacher likes to say, intimacy is pronounced, into me I see.

This force has a gravitational pull that can’t be countered.

The good news is, if we’re willing to leave our position to join the other, what awaits on the other side is exactly what it means to be a human being. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Why aren’t you braving the danger of increased physical and emotional intimacy?