How will you bring possibility into existence?

Complaining is satisfying because it relieves tension, earns validation, builds connection and enables catharsis.

What’s not to like? To quote one of my favorite comedians, the thing about sitting in your own shit is, it’s warm, it’s familiar and it’s yours.

But the danger is when people spend more time complaining about their situation than solving it. Trapped in a doom loop of their own making, they forget one of life’s basic laws.

Possibility only comes into existence through action. Only because an external cause has started to act are new outcomes available to you.

But if all you do is think yourself in circles and avoid making a choice, then there is a near zero chance of you improving your circumstances.

This is what the existentialist philosophers started talking about hundreds of years ago. Heidegger, along with his many contemporaries and cohorts, believed that we are all thrown into this world against our will, but once we arrive, we must don the mantle of meaning creators and choice makers.

Because there ain’t no possibility of opting out. Even not making a choice is a choice. That still changes the nature and identity of the chooser.

My brother does a masterful job teaching his young son about this law. Anytime my nephew gets frustrated about something, like how his chicken nuggets are too spicy, or how he wants to play one more inning of kickball before we go home, my brother will calmly remind him:

Sweetheart, you have a choice right now. You can choose to be upset, or you can choose to eat your chicken nuggets that aren’t perfect. What would you like to choose? It’s good parenting, but it’s also good advice for adults.

Think about how many of us shrink into toddlers when life doesn’t go our way. When we don’t get our favorite special thing exactly the way we wanted it. Myself included.

If we want to give ourselves a significantly better chance of reducing our experience of emotional distress, then we need to recognize that everything we do involves a choice. We to step into the role of a mature person who takes active steps to form their self in the choices they make.

And we need to trust that by making a choice, that can open the door to making different choices.

We can establish grounds for all subsequent choosing, which can bring new possibilities into existence.

Sartre, another existentialist hero of mine, explained it best:

People often adopt strategies to convince themselves and others that they are not free, that they need not or cannot choose, or have not chosen when in fact they have.

Therefore, if you’re not content with the number of possibilities available to you right now, rather than complaining yourself into a corner, reflect on which of your past choices have defined your current reality.

And use that information to keep moving your story forward.

Because we are who we choose to be.

We define ourselves by our choices.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What possibilities will be available to you when you discover your unique fundamental choice of yourself?