Why not use its own evil powers against itself?

Contempt is the tendency to look down on, distance, and derogate others who violate our standards.

It’s a disposition that’s been clinically proven to have significant negative consequences. And the long term effects of contempt often damage trust, hinder effective communication, contribute to hostile environments, even end marriages.

Everyone is aligned on those facts. The verdict on contempt is out.

But what nobody talks about is the bigger issue, which is that contempt feels good. Really, really good. It’s one of those experiences that evokes a sense of satisfaction and pleasure.

Like the elevation of our ego and a momentary sense of superiority and the feeling of validation. Scorning people reinforces our society identity and sense of belonging. It’s a release valve for pent up frustration. The catharsis of belittling others, even inside our own minds, makes us feel righteous.

Fuck heroin, pass me a hit of that shit. Why snort white power up my nose when I can simply stare down it?

Contempt is one part anger, one part disgust, one part superiority, and all parts dopamine. It’s the hottest drug on the market right now.

And we’re all hopelessly addicted to it.

Unfortunately, there is no equivalent to a naloxone for contempt. Unlike opioid addiction, we can’t buy an over the counter lifesaving nasal spray people can use to reverse an overdose. Which means the fight against this epidemic must occur within.

Each of has a responsibility to tackle contempt on our own. Nobody can do it for us.

Perhaps what we need is a rousing presidential speech to inspire our scornful nation. Roosevelt famously said that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And he wasn’t wrong. He once called fear the nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.

Why not apply the same logic to contempt? Why not use its own evil powers against itself?

Hell, since our country is so skilled at being contemptuous anyway, and since we’re all jonesing for it like junkies, maybe the only thing to have contempt for is contempt itself.

Roosevelt would’ve agreed that contempt, just like fear, is a powerful force that hinders progress and success. In fact, if he were around to give that speech today, I bet he’d encouraged citizens to confront and even channel their own contempt.

To not let it paralyze them or prevent them from taking necessary actions to overcome challenges.

Look, it’s been a century since his famous words we first spoken, so a refresh might be in order. My recommendation would be to launch a national initiative of meta contempt.

Americans should decide as a country that we will collectively redirect our disdain towards the very thing we excel at. Having contempt. As our citizens are showing zero signs of weening off this emotional opioid anytime soon, let’s convert it into a force for positive change.

My initiative is inspired by the national institute of health’s widely cited study about contempt. Psychologists, to identify the items that adequately represented their conceptualization of contempt, used an empirical scale. This enlightening tool should be required reading in this country. Right after the constitution and the bible.

I went through this assessment myself, and realized that if you simply reverse engineer the list into action items, then boom, right there, you’ve got a useful curriculum for meta contempt. I’ve taken the liberty of breaking down my initiative into three critical modules.

Morality, competence and status.

Let’s go through each and see if we can’t break the cycle and create a more positive and constructive environment. Each item will include the clinical question from the study, along with my own suggested practices.

Ready?

First, morality.

Do you tend to snub people who have behaved unethically?

If so, try to understand their perspective. Wonder what they might have been right about. Ponder the unseen factors that contributed to their behavior, which may make total sense in light of their unique circumstances. Before you cast the first stone, simply reflect on all the times in the past thirty days alone you behaved unethically.

Next, are you unable to separate the person from their actions?

If so, maybe acknowledge that individuals are capable of growth and change. Including you. Especially you. Remember the fact that while actions speak louder than words, they also don’t tell the entire story. Empathize towards the people who prioritize their own interests, since you would likely do the same in their position. F

Finally, are you dismissive of people who don’t share your principles?

Well that’s not very open minded. Don’t tell me there’s no common values there. Or that the gap is so wide it can’t be bridged. I bet a thousand dollars there are at least three people in your life, who you love and who love you, that voted for the enemy. And yet, you haven’t disowned them. You simply don’t talk about politics over dinner. That alone is proof of your ability to stay in the room with difference.

Tomorrow we’ll explore part two!