We are not your water cooler break

Starbucks once had a barista who posted an anonymous open letter to all of the company’s patrons.

It’s honest, hilarious, and although it went viral many years ago, there’s still one section that resonates with me today. It’s the part about the bizarre relationship between coffee baristas and regular customers.

Here’s what the letter says.

We are not your friends. We are not your neighbors. In most cases, we absolutely loathe you, but we are outwardly friendly, because we are paid to do so. You are not getting special treatment, and we don’t give a shit about your last vacation or your new baby or your real estate problems. We ask how you’re doing because it’s a way of making conversation, and we are pressured to make conversation in this line of work. Now, there are some customers who are genuinely liked, but they are few and far between. If you have to think about it, you’re probably not one of them. Oh, and if you work from home, we are not your water cooler break. We may be the only humans you have interacted with for days, but do not expect us to be interested in your stupid home business or your totally unfunny commentary. Get your drink and get out.

Wow, guilty as charged in that department.

During my ten plus years running a one person business out of my home, it’s sad and frankly regrettable how often the coffee baristas in my neighborhood felt like my only friends.

Because in my lonely eyes, those people were a godsend.

But then again, from their perspective, it’s understandable how such unrequited love from a customer might have been misplaced and inappropriate. That’s why this barista’s public letter to all patrons struck such a cord.

It speaks to just how disconnected and lonely we have become.

Particularly in the last twenty years, where being an entrepreneur has become such a celebrated, accessible and popular career. It’s the equivalent to starting a rock band in the sixties.

Now that anyone can do it, everyone does. Which is great, except for the fact that nobody offered this burgeoning of entrepreneurs, myself included, any warning about just how lonely that career journey could be.

We had no idea. At the turn of the century, as the culture ushered in the digital revolution, people didn’t realize that the revolutionary technology designed to connect us would actually have the opposite effect.

What good is launching your own technology startup that improves the lives of millions if you’re sitting at home by yourself all day, coding yourself into oblivion?

What good is being a writer who spends all his time making art instead of living a normal life full of healthy, connected relationships?

Our technology has clearly demonstrated that humans aren’t made to be alone for this long. It’s not in our nature. We need to regulate ourselves with other people.

One psychiatry journal even went so far as research how loneliness, previously treated as a symptom of mental health problems, has now become a disease in itself. One that has reported to be more dangerous than smoking.

What’s the solution? How can we help people expect less from technology and more from each other?

Here’s one service that I recently read about that’s really heating up.

Hermitary is an exciting new utility management system that won’t turn on your heat, water or gas line until you have left the house for at least one hour and had a conversation with three people. Now you have no choice but to get out of your comfort zone and engage with the world, otherwise you’re going to be freezing, smelly and hungry. Hermitary’s here to remind you that you’ve made your bed, now leave.

Remember, we’re only alone in this world if we choose to be. Staying in our room, attached to our devices and waiting for something to happen in our life, that’s just inflicting loneliness upon ourselves.

The coffee barista may not be the answer, but thinking about connecting with others is a good start.

LET ME ASK YA THIS..
How many people did you go out of your way to avoid yesterday?