There’s too many people for it to be personal

When you live in a big city, the first lesson you learn is, pee before you leave.

The second lesson you learn is, every micro interaction costs energy. It’s the very harsh but very real economics of urban living. Strangers are not going to stop, look you in the eye and reward you with a crumble of their attention, simply because you’re in in their line of sight. It’s too risky. Too expensive of an investment of their most valuable asset, their energy.

After all, these are big city folk. They’ve got things to see and people to do. You are not part of their agenda.

The upside to this principle, however, is that it teaches you to depersonalize. You stop mistaking what’s happening in the world as somehow connected to you. You don’t take things because it can’t be personal. There’s too many people for it to be personal.

For any of these micro interactions to be about you, means that people would have to stop focusing on their own interests.

Personally, this phenomenon makes it easy for me to accept that most people in a large city will not engage with my nametag. Notice it, maybe. But use it to start a conversation, not likely. It’s too expensive of an interaction.

And that’s okay. Because when it does happen, when someone sees my nametag and flashes a smile or says hello or strikes up a conversation, the victory is that much sweeter. For both parties. The person who decides to gamble a chunk of their energy realizes that it was a worthwhile outlay, and for me, it’s another moment of joy that wouldn’t have otherwise existed.

Financial professionals would call this type of activity micro investing. It doesn’t require a significant change in behavior, but the amounts accrue. My accountant says it’s like taking all the spare change from your purchases and saving it in a jar until it’s full and then taking the full jar of change to the bank.

Except in this case, the bank is your heart, and the deposits are parcels of hope, which are especially helpful when you live in a massive, trash ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What investments are critical for your emotional bank account?