The ordinary but exhausting human misery of other people

There are no black and white personality traits.

Most of us all fall somewhere on some kind of spectrum.

And that’s a good thing. Being a healthy and integrated person means embracing all elements of our identity, not just the specific categories we think best describe who we are.

I’ve been an extrovert my whole life. Being around other people gives me energy. Interaction is perhaps my greatest source of fuel.

However, if I don’t have enough time to myself between activities, I become irritable and depleted.

Maybe you’re the same.

Do you love retreating into silence to put your thoughts in order? Do you need to carve out hours of retreat for recharging your batteries?

If so, you’re not alone. There are millions of extroverts who still need to claim undisturbed space for themselves to find their way back to center. Otherwise, they won’t be able to deal with the ordinary but exhausting human misery of interacting with other people and their expectations.

Point being, for people like us, our job is to find ways to integrate all of those moving parts into the whole of how we engage with the world. It’s only through the setting and honoring boundaries that we are able to come back tougher with others in healthy ways.

And so, if that means during a family vacation, you need a private sphere to which you can withdraw undisturbed and undistracted by the presence of others, take it. Leave for a few hours and go do what you have to do to feel like yourself.

Remember, setting boundaries is hard. It takes time. The valuable skill of learning to constantly monitor the self is not an easy one to master.

Also, boundaries can often slip over time and require recalibrating every so often. But as long as you love and respect yourself during the process, it won’t be a burden.

Other people may interpret it as so, and that’s on them. Human beings are complicated and confusing, and your job isn’t to make people understand you, it’s to make you understand yourself.

Which aspect of your personality are you not giving room to breathe?


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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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