The knowledge that your choice is unconventional

Oftentimes the thing that inspires moral outrage in others is when we choose not to do something.

Sobriety has historically been my version of this. Drinking or doing drugs never had any appeal to me. And no judgments to those who imbibed, it simply wasn’t my thing.

But in a college setting, I was definitely the freak at the table. Because when you disrupt that flow, there’s clearly something wrong with you, right?

My classmates made me acutely aware that my choice was something most people assumed was unnatural, and became yet another aspect of society where I didn’t fit in.

Awesome. Kind of made me want to grab a beer or pick up a joint, just to shut people up.

Isn’t conformity fun?

But there’s an upside to making unpopular choices.

If we choose to pursue fulfillment in ways that are outside of the norm, there’s a little dancing smile of satisfaction that comes over us.

Personally, the joy of arranging my life in the way that felt most right to me was more important than any temporary high. Getting to show how happy I was with a choice that confounded others made the rebellious part of me feel like a million bucks.

Sounds righteous and smug doesn’t? That’s fine with me. Any life choice closely examined could appear that way.

But in a world where people feel the need to constantly and publicly criticize every goddamn choice you make, you have to take your meaning where you can get it.

An old colleague of mine used to do this all the time. Every time he made a strategic recommendation for my business that didn’t seem right for me, and I said no thanks, he would always shake his head in arrogant disapproval and say, dumb move, man, dumb move.

As if his threat of regret was going to change my mind into living the life he wanted for me. As if emphasizing a lack of something I never wanted in the first place would convince me.

Nice try, but my job is to make my life feel meaningful in whatever way feels most right and true. And if you’re waiting around for one of those I told you so moments five years down the road, don’t hold your breath.

Frost said he took the road less traveled by, and that made all the difference. When you view your life as a choice rather than a destiny, you feel the same way. 

Next time people are morally outraged when you choose not to do something, get out of the hot seat and back into control.

Don’t apologize. Own your life as a choice, not a destiny.

And it will make all the difference.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How will you navigate the once you fall outside the path that others have envisioned for you?