Relying on anyone other than me sounds like a terrible idea

Being strong and independent is useful.

But extremes in anything accomplish nothing. When we carry our individuality too far, when we isolate and try to do everything alone all the time, it’s not only a terrible punishment we inflict on ourselves, but it’s also a slap in the face to the people who care about us.

Satisfying as it may be to say to ourselves, wow, relying on anyone other than me sounds like a terrible idea, it’s ultimately detrimental to us and those we love.

The mistake we make is thinking that our asking for help is going to be a burden on other people. Which may be true if we’re asking for a silver briefcase full of one million dollars in unmarked nonconsecutive twenty dollar bills.

But outside of extreme situations, it’s the opposite of a burden. It’s a gift.

My favorite college professor, on the last day of class before the final exam, cancelled his lesson plan. Instead, he gave us an inspiration speech about life lessons he had learned in his sixty plus years on this earth. The one that always stuck with me was this.

People who love you want you to call on them. If you give them the opportunity to help in your time of need, even if there’s not much they can do, they will feel a profound sense of gratitude, joy and connection in the process. Relying on them in your time of need isn’t a burden, it’s a gift.

Which sounds ironic, since you’re the one who needs the help. But something wonderful happens when people get together and trust each other.

To quote the great poet, we are lightened when our gifts rise from pools we cannot fathom. Then we know they are not a solitary egotism and they are inexhaustible.

Indeed, intimacy is hard when we’re so used to shutting down to protect ourselves.

But we’re really having trouble hanging in there, then we might trying hanging our whole weight upon someone else for a chance.

It’s more soothing than we realize.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you really compromising your sense of efficacy, or just getting some much needed help?