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Our pain is a memory, not a recurring trauma
Here’s why I dislike complaining so much. It’s a pure projection of powerlessness. Total victim mentality. We have externalized personal responsibility by delivering mouthfuls of misery about our own existence. Which, to be fair, earns us catharsis, attention, validation, support and camaraderie. But all of those are all short term gains. The positive outcomes are limited. There is an illusion of control, since we are at least able to…
What fun is life if I’m not making jokes all the time?
Easily amused is supposed to be an insult. Cynical people use this label to imply someone is stupid, simpleminded and unsophisticated. It’s code for low brow, undiscerning and prone to infantile joy. The easily amused person is satisfied by the lowest common denominator. Our social norms view them as inherently negative individuals who lack intellectual and emotional depth. After all, we live in a culture that emphases productivity and…
The sudden motivation to restore your threatened freedom
Do you know somebody who hates being told what to do? Neuroscience researchers explain this personality is called control averse. These people resent restrictions on their freedom of choice and are compelled to reassert this freedom. A study even showed how certain brain regions were more strongly activated during people’s controlled decisions than their free decisions. And the reasoning was, people felt misunderstood and untrusted. But hating being told…
How can we replace what we think with what we know?
Despite living in a time where all the world’s knowledge is available to anyone with a cell phone, we still live in an uncertain realm, filled with empty space, hanging questions and knowledge gaps. And because of the fundamental human desire for predictability and control, we eagerly fill those holes. Our brains have a way of color correcting the world, so to speak, when we believe it’s been filtered…
I’m not convinced your interpretation of me is accurate
In most professional relationships, whether it’s doctor patient, boss employee, interviewer interviewee, therapist client, teacher student or coach player, there are always going to be power dynamics and knowledge gaps. And these imbalances can make it difficult for us to challenge the advice and instruction of the person in the authority position. Resisting makes us feel guilty, impolite or ungrateful. Especially if there is an investment of time or…