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Each of us can choose what behaviors we exhibit
Culture is everyone’s job. It’s made up of everyone and every interaction in the company. If it’s happening at the organization, it’s a part of our culture. Whether we like it or not. There is no such thing as nonexistent culture. It’s either intentional or not. Years ago, one of my junior coworkers was bemoaning the fact that our company culture had become unfriendly and overly professional. Pretty standard…
You have to date your friends
We can’t become mediocre friends with too many people. Because as we grow older, our days go faster than we think, and the fewer opportunities we have to be with those people. The upside is, the knots grow tighter on the ropes that bind us. When we’re apart, we think to ourselves, wow, isn’t it wonderful that we actually want to be friends with our friends? What blessing. The…
Our feelings aren’t facts, but they’re still ours
Desire doesn’t have to be specific or passionate to be real. It’s okay to want something from a place or simplicity and generality. Just because we don’t check the boxes of white hot longing and obsession doesn’t mean our feelings aren’t legitimate and shouldn’t be honored. The challenge is, we buy into these culturally sanctioned stories about what our desires should look like. Unwritten rules about what’s okay to…
We have to forgive each other for being who we are along the way
If we’re not connecting with other people in ways that create genuine relationships of meaning and depth, then why are we even here? Those precious connections are the cleanest, most life giving fuel that helps us to meet the demands of reality. These relationships structure our very selves. Those closest to us contribute to making us who we are. But the thing is, these bonds are not free. All…
Wow, that person must be in a lot of pain right now
If it’s true that you can’t love anybody until you love yourself first, then the opposite must also be true. You can’t hate anybody until you hate yourself first. Look around. Anytime you observe someone acting in a hateful way towards others, that’s not an accident. It’s a release valve. They’re trying to pay the pain forward. Because when you hate yourself, the only thing that makes you feel…