Overthinking everything you might have done wrong

October 31, 2016 1:31 PM

I recently met a woman at a party
who sees ghosts.

Not paranormally, of course. Human ghosts. Men who appear
to be interested in dating her, but all of the sudden, stop replying to text
messages and never call back and leave her hanging like a tire on a bike rack.

Meanwhile, she’s waiting around without clarity or closure or certainty,
wondering if this clown has disappeared off the face of the earth.

It’s a very
real phenomenon in modern dating. It’s called ghosting, colloquially
defined as a pervasive act where one dater ends a relationship by simply
disappearing, without an explanation of any sort, leaving the ghosted wondering
where he or she went wrong.

It’s confusing and frustrating and hurtful and
dismissive. It makes people never want to date again.

What’s worse, it launches
people into an infinite regression of overthinking everything they might have
done wrong to cause ghosting to happen.

Because that’s the natural human
response to a lack of communication. We revert to worse case scenario thinking.

What’s interesting is, ghosting doesn’t just happen in dating. It happens in
business too.

I receive emails every week from potential clients who are keen
on hiring me as a corporate trainer at their company. And so, I write them back
and send them books and leave them messages, doing everything in my power to
wow them, scratching and clawing for weeks and months at a time, only to get
crickets.

And I think to myself, you guys came to me, what the hell?

But
then I remember how human behavior works.

First, confrontation is hard. And
rejecting people is even harder. That’s why most of us would rather say nothing
than no. Accept it.

Secondly, it’s not personal, it’s just timing. Look, people
change. Budgets go away. Calendars rearrange. And there’s not much anyone can
do about that except move on.

The point is, everyone gets ghosted eventually.
Either when they’re dating, when they’re doing business, or both. And it feels
shitty.

But the moment we start giving it energy and creating unnecessary
psychological fuel around it, before we know it, that ghost suddenly has power
over us.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you skilled at letting go?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…

For the list called, “99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren’t One,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com