Moments of Conception 187 - The Conference Scene in Yes Man

September 29, 2015 1:41 PM

All creativity begins with the moment of conception.

That little piece of kindling that gets the fire going. That initial source of inspiration that takes on a life of its own. That single note from which the entire symphony grows. That single spark of life that signals an idea’s movement value, almost screaming to us, something wants to be built here.

Based on my books in The Prolific Series, I’m going to be deconstructing my favorite moments of conception from popular movies. Each post will contain a video clip from a different film, along with a series of lessons we can learn from the characters.

Today’s clip comes from the conference scene in Yes Man:

A little willingness goes a long way. Karl vows to say yes to every offer, invitation,
challenge and chance that comes his way. And his commitment to complete
openness send him on a trajectory of adventure, abundance and yes, even amore. Karl discovers that the more he
says yes to life, the more life gives back to him. Which may be a story we’ve
seen million times before, but frankly, our cynical world could use a
refresher. Because negativity is the easy way out. It’s a luxury item. Any
asshole can be unhappy. It requires exactly zero calories. Optimism, on the
other hand, actually requires work. It forces us to cultivate the art of
observation. But the dividends are worthwhile. Saying yes and raising your hand
and trying lots of new things is precisely what helps success find you. Because
the process increases your field of vision, which allows you to better notice
the opportunities that lead to success. Mindset may not affect the outcome, but
it does affect the experience. Philippe, the greatest tightrope walker in history, wrote a
daring book about this very philosophy. He said our job as artists is to
explore mysterious desert islands of wonder. Because in chaos, all is possible.
Every incoming idea is welcome, with no regard to reality. Forget time, money
or reason, he says, embrace the brimming universe that sets your artistic
crimes in motion. Are you living by the
improvisational decree of saying yes to everything

People love people who give permission. Terrence may be a browbeating bullshit artist, but you
have to appreciate the guru’s ability to give people permission. That, in my
opinion, is the greatest gift we can offer. Permission, that invitation to
reach deep down inside and express what is there, without reserve and without
regret, is something every one of us craves. We just need someone to go first.
The trick is, then, is that giving people permission isn’t some parlor trick we
learn at public speaking school. It’s not a manipulative sales tactic we read
in a book about persuasion. Permission is an act of embodiment. It’s not about
the adjectives of our language, but the audacity of our lives. We inspire
people to believe in themselves when we first throw ourselves boldly and
joyfully into the life adventure, never looking over our shoulder to see who’s
laughing. Velvet, for example, only sold ten thousand copies of their debut
album, but everyone who bought it went out and formed their own band. That’s
permission. I remember when first sent out the press release about myconcert
documentary, an artist friend of
mine told me that each time she saw something of mine, she put more things on
her creative bucket list. Mission
accomplished.That’s impact. That’s exactly the kind of response I want.
And it can’t be accomplished by playing covers. Because that wouldn’t be creating
something personal. Forging other people’s art doesn’t involve undergoing the
emotional labor of taking a risk and extending yourself. Whom are you giving permission?

No is the gateway to yes. Realistically, we can’t say yes to everything.
Boundaries have to be drawn. The guru even admits that the goal isn’t to say
yes to everything, but to open our minds to other possibilities without
permanently taking away our ability to say no if we needed to. Life isn’t a
romantic comedy. Weareentitled to
have our own best interests at heart. And so, there could just as easily be a
sequel to this movie about the opposite of yes. About the power of saying no to
the stories that do not serve our own evolution. That’s what reinvention is all
about. Saying no to an outdated version of ourselves. Saying no to the labels
and histories and stories we thought made up who we are. Saying no to stupid
behaviors we continue to do because we think they’re somehow associated with
the good things that have happened to us. Altucher wrote a powerful book on
this very topic, saying that every time you hurt yourself, there was a no you
did not respect. That’s the nature of boundaries. If we don’t set them for
ourselves, other people will set them for us, and then they will violate them.
And it will be our fault because we didn’t set a precedent. Ultimately, saying
yes is the still the path to abundance and adventure. It’s still the optimal
response to life. But we can never forget, we are defined by what we declined.
Only by saying no to the good can we make room to say yes to the best.Are you able to hold a courageous
conversation to reinforce your boundaries?