It wasn’t your fault, you just didn’t know who you were

The basic tool for setting boundaries is acquiring more knowledge of self.

That critical foundation of information goes a long way in setting limits on your physical, mental and emotional world.

Just think back to all the times you were taken advantage of when you were young. It wasn’t your fault, you just didn’t know who you were. Happens to the best of us.

But let’s consider the implications of that dearth of knowledge.

When you don’t know what you value, then it’s hard to protect yourself from people who want you to be like them.

When you don’t clarify what’s important to you, then every decision becomes an exhausting argument.

When you don’t understand how you feel about things, then it’s easy for others to superimpose their emotional reality onto you.

When you don’t know how your existence fits into the grand design, then anyone can convince you that they know your life better than you do.

When you are desperately searching for meaning instead of actively making it on our own, then you will be easily threatened by all the inaccurate reflections in the mirror of expectation.

When you don’t decide how to focus your energy daily, then technology will continue to deliver other people’s priorities to your attention.

Speaking of not setting boundaries, let’s talk about cult recruitment.

West’s renowned study on persuasion techniques found that certain predisposing factors may facilitate someone’s attraction to a cultic system, including an intense desire to belong, a desperate search for approval and an unstable identity.

What do all three of factors have in common?

Lack of knowledge of the self. The number one source of all boundary violations.

Therefore, if you don’t have a strong sense of who you are; or if your sense of self has drifted away in the undertow, then do whatever it takes to recover it.

Because that knowledge is our existential primer.

It’s the base layer that prevents the absorption of all future paint and rust. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Where in life do you feel the need for more effective boundaries?