One of the great relationship breakthroughs is accepting that it’s okay for other people to be angry and disappointed.
It’s simply a matter of trust.
On their end, we trust that they have the ability to cope with a wide array of feelings. We trust that they’re not going to abandon us just because we said something that upset them. We trust the communication process and believe that the people have something valuable to say. And we trust that they’re not going to bury a meat cleaver between our eyes while we’re sleeping.
On our end, we trust that it’s not our job to prevent people from experiencing discomfort. We trust that whatever we did doesn’t make us a bad person. We trust that we’re good enough and that we don’t have to spend our life proving that we are. And we trust that we don’t have to overcompensate for our mistake by sending flowers and a singing telegram to help erase the other person’s memory of just how imperfectly human we really are.
A helpful mantra that my therapist used to suggested is:
I’m doing this as an expression of my trust.
You can write it down, recite it inside your head, proclaim it to the universe, or verbally communicate to another person. Whichever form the mantra takes, what matters is that you bring intention and conscious awareness to the process.
Because for many of us, trusting is a deeply vulnerable act.
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What might assist you in building trust with yourself, with others and with the universe?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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