If I ever catch the guy who did it, I’m going to kill him!

It hasn’t hit me yet.

The experience is still settling in.

I haven’t comprehended or emotionally processed a significant event, situation, or piece of information. I’m sure it’ll hit me eventually. It’s only a matter of time before I wrap my brain around this thing.

But for now, it just doesn’t feel real. Seems like a dream.

Now, maybe it’s denial. Or fear of acceptance. Or a delayed response defensive mechanism after being in shock. All I know is, there is a complete lack of feelings about this experience that I always assumed would be so momentous and transformative.

This is where compassion comes in handy.

I remind myself that there’s no such as thing as the right or wrong way to feel. That’s not something I control. Beating myself up for not experiencing certain emotions, in a certain amount, at a certain time, is like demanding a rainbow on a cloudy day.

Doesn’t work that way. Although I am getting awfully tired of people asking me how I feel, and then watching them glare when I say, um, fine? The same? Pretty good I guess?

The human brain really is a funny organ. When faced with emotionally charged events, it needs time process and integrate the information, especially if it’s unexpected or overwhelming.

And when that happens, the best thing we can do is practice compassion. We can tell ourselves, it’s okay to process this at my own pace. I am allowed to feel whatever come up, or doesn’t come up. I trust myself to handle this in the best way for me. I will find clarity and acceptance when the time is right.

Matter of fact, this would make a perfect nursery rhyme.

You have to wait to feel the weight. In every decision you make.
Listen close dear little one. Time’s embrace can’t be outrun.
But to process the gravity of each creation. Is the key to life’s jubilation.

When something hasn’t hit us yet, or hasn’t hit us in the way we thought it would, that’s okay. Doesn’t make us bad people. To continue our nursery rhyme from before.

In life’s silly dance. We stumble and we fall.
Things hit us when they hit us. Or sometimes they don’t hit us at all.
Maybe it’s denial. Maybe it’s a dream.
But we keep our hearts open. Joy lies beyond what we deem.

What delayed response are you beating yourself up for?