We can’t act baffled when isolation becomes our norm

The loneliness of young people has reached epidemic proportions. Researchers are affectionately calling the youngest of the individuals surveyed, the loneliest generation. That’s absolutely heartbreaking to me. Heartbreaking. And here’s why. Loneliness is not some mystifying, highly contagious disease that medical professionals have yet to find a cure for. It’s a choice. We may not be conscious that we’re making it, and it may not be an easy one to make, but it’s still a choice. As my mentor once...

The irony of workaholism is, often times the greater the achievement, the deeper the emptiness. We make heroic effort, reach the climax, receive attention and approval from others, stimulate the reward system in our brain, and then we crash. And once the drug wears off, the darkness comes pouring in. Mean voices inside our head remind us that we’re actually unworthy and incompetent, and we had better get back to work soon so we can chase another hit. Reminds me...

People don’t need information, they need affirmation. Google can give them information to their heart’s content. But only a living, breathing human being can sit down, listen to that person’s story, look them in the eye, and say something like, oh wow, that really sucks. Hey, you’re doing great, so keep it up. That’s amazing, I knew you could do it, way to go. Affirmation really is a fundamental human need, like water, food, clothing and shelter. And so, when...

Have you ever felt hopeless, unmotivated, disgusted, apathetic, scared, invisible and exhausted, all at the same time? It's a scary and complicated emotional cocktail. But it is possible to feel that many feelings at once. It's disorienting a hell. The first time it started happening to me was around age thirty. Ambiguity about the future of my career and relationships weighed down on me like a lead blanket. The bizarre and claustrophobic feelings of being trapped and paralyzed made me...

The brain does not reach full maturity until our middle twenties or thirties. Adolescence isn't finished just because the word teen no longer appear in our age. It usually take two or three decades of life before we can genuinely build an adult understanding of the world. And so, if not a number, then what are the defining characteristics of adulthood? How do we know that we're actually growing up? Here are some of the signifiers from my own life....