I’m not dead yet, and I wish people would stop burying me

Everybody wants everything both ways. It’s the law of unreasonable incompatibility. Westerners use the idiom, you want to have their cake and eat it too. But this principle has its own quirky expression in just about every culture. Albania says, to take a swim and not get wet. Bulgaria says, to have the wolf fed and the lamb in tact. Italy says, to keep the barrel of wine with a drunk wife. Korea says, to chase two rabbits at the...

My body shop mechanic once told me:Your car is always speaking to you, but you have to listen. He was absolutely right. Although his advice would have been a lot more helpful earlier that day when my engine was catching on fire while going eighty on the highway. Guess we all live and learn. That’s what you get for doing car karaoke without paying attention to the check engine light. But my mechanic’s advice also has broad applications beyond the...

Decisiveness is a universal quality of successful people. The ability to make choices quickly and confidently, and not hastily and arrogantly, is precisely what gives us the ability to take action and move our story forward. However, when it comes to the deeply complicated issue of our identities, making a decision isn’t always necessary or even useful. Because we’re not supposed to be one thing in life. Part of being an evolving human being is accepting our endowment of the...

Some people believe every choice they make is a significant life decision that will have a profound effect on the whole of their existence. T he butterfly is forever flapping its wings. Anything could mean everything, and so, each move they make is carefully scripted and manicured. It's not worth doing if it's not worth over thinking first, right? God forbid their choices are not optimized for perfection. The problem with this habit is, despite appearing judicious and strategic in...

In our world of infinite choice and constant distraction, it’s never been easier to bail on our plans with people. It seems that basic social contracts like setting a date and actually showing up on time have become a scarce commodity. Technology and psychology theorists blame this trend on a number of sources, some under our control and some not. But why people flake out doesn’t concern me as much as what people can to do reverse this trend. Because...