Burning out faster than a strand of cheap holiday lights

We can come boldly to the throne of grace and find mercy in our time of need.

Preachers use this verse in sermons as an invitation to approach god with confidence, but we don’t necessarily have to involve the big man upstairs to gain value from scripture.

I see this verse as a reminder of the importance of being accountable to our own needs. Rather than codependently hiding behind other people’s circumstances as a convenient excuse to avoid confronting own problems, we accept the fact that we have needs too.

This is a tough one for people pleasers. Because it’s deeply gratifying to optimize our lives around being in service to others. Deny our needs in favor of others makes us feel useful, noble, even holy.

I don’t know if god really exists, but if he does, he probably loves codependents.

Point being, if we spend our days hiding behind what we think other people want, need and expect, it’s almost certain we’re not getting our own needs met. It’s unwise, unhealthy and unsustainable.

And people do this all the time, myself included. We hide behind our beloved veil of false modesty. Our charades of philanthropy. We perform perpetual acts of service for those we love, and even for those we don’t, and then one day it hits us like a ton of carbon emissions.

Holy shit, I forgot to exercise for the past two weeks. No wonder my health has been suffering this whole time.

Have you ever heard of healthcare terminology like compassion fatigue and secondary trauma?

These are clinical conditions. I was reading a book on healthcare stewardship, and how nurses won’t slow down enough to be curious about what is happening within themselves. In their line of work, the research suggests:

They can’t ignore the transformation that takes place within them as a result of exposure to the suffering of other living beings. And if they don’t take time to rest, reflect, release and recharge, they will burn out faster than a strand of cheap holiday lights.

Eventually, we all need to step out from behind other people needs and pay ourselves first.

What’s your favorite thing to hide behind?