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Death isn’t a tragedy for the person who dies. What do they care? They’re already gone. It’s lights out. They’re not even around when people mourn them, so what’s all the fuss about? Seinfeld summarized it best: Dying is going to be fantastic, think of all things you’re done with. Seems to me, that the cruelest punishment is not the end of our own lives, but the death of…

Intimacy is the human catalyst for the experience of oneness. Multiple studies have shown that young people are having less sex than previous generations. The exact reasons for this trend are debatable, but one thing’s for sure. Sex isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom. What’s more concerning is our culture’s broader withdrawal from physical and emotional intimacy. And it’s hard not to appreciate the allure. Why waste our time…

Doubt can be a nagging, frustrating emotion that’s just big enough to matter, but just small enough not to kill you. Descartes once said that doubt pulls the rug out from under whatever certainty you think you just got hold of. It’s the wrecking ball that swings into action and knocks the poorly founded belief aside. Couldn’t agree more. For example, here’s a career doubt that sometimes pops into…

When people complain about how they don’t have time do things, it perplexes me. They act as if all these tasks and obligations cosmically forced themselves onto their to do lists, and now they are helplessly stuck with them. But the fact is, everything they committed to was a choice they made. Or didn’t make. And so, time isn’t their problem. Time is the artificial human construct they’ve decided…

Moderation has never really worked for my personality. Despite my best efforts to adopt an everything in moderation maxim, turns out I’m an all or nothing kind of. Timing and monitoring and measuring my effort doesn’t motivate me, it exhausts and frustrates me. Framing my level of activity and consumption as sensible, whatever the hell that means, only ruins the experience for me. Unlike some people, occasionally indulging doesn’t…

In a sad, grieving, anxious or depressed person’s mind, their fears are completely normal. You can spend all the time in the world promising them that they are not sick, but they’re often unwilling to believe loved ones or even doctors who try to reassure them. In which case, the only effective way to deal with their irrational thinking is to just play along for their peace of mind….

Who are we when all of our gifts are stripped away? Is that person still worthy? It’s tough to imagine when we’ve invested so much time working on ourselves. Think about the sheer amount of time and energy spent. We treat ourselves as the possessors of unique gifts. We carry the blueprint of them and notice their unfolding. We slowly emerge into the full flower of our gifts through…

What should we care about? When humanity is dealing with numerous overlapping traumas, how are we supposed to know which problems to prioritize? There are no easy and simple answers for these questions, because there’s a mob mentality on what is important. Social pressure often decides what issues deserve our time, money and energy. The squeaky wheels gets the attentional oil. In fact, people might even call you out…

Discipline takes care of you in ways that motivation can’t. Because your action isn’t conditional on feelings or mood, it hinges on commitment. Your fuel is not desire but will. Whereas if you work from a place of motivation, there is a particular mental and emotional state necessary to complete your task. Which you may or may not be able to access at any given moment. And that gives…

In concentration camps, certain prisoners were selected by their captors to hold more advantaged positions within the population of the camp. Since these people possessed creative, linguistic or industrial skills, the guards viewed them as valuable assets. They gave them access to material benefits beyond those available to others, like warmer clothes, better shelter and more food. My friend wrote and directed a documentary about this very phenomenon. The…