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Rohr, my favorite modern monk, writes about how the church often does not really encourage an inner life. It substitutes belief systems and belonging systems and moral systems for interior journeys toward god. And religion is not alone, either. Most organizations and institutions in this world don’t have a vested interest in our population taking time for practices like reflection. The powers that be would love nothing more than for our…

Surrender is hard for men. Our testosterone fueled brains interpret surrender as giving up, ceding control, being dominated and demonstrating weakness. Wolff’s philosophy summarized the irony of surrender perfectly back in the sixties, pointing out that surrender stands in opposition to the official western consciousness, in which our relation to the world is that of mastery, control, efficiency and manipulation. This relation is virile, rather than womanly. In short,…

Chambers was among the first to note, the burning bush is a symbol of everything that surrounded the ready soul, it is ablaze with the presence of god. His contention was that the fire didn’t just spontaneously combust one afternoon in the middle of the desert. It had been burning the whole time. Moses simply didn’t have the eyes to see it. But once he became aware of the…

Some people simply need something to be furious at. Their rage is not about emotion, it’s about identity. Saying that they hate things is what makes them happy. It’s the pellet that makes the rat feel like themselves. They’re defined by what they don’t like. This behavior, foul as it may be, is psychologically understandable. Who doesn’t love yanking that pressure release valve to let the all their steam…

How good are you at loving your stress? That was the most powerful question my therapist ever asked me. Because our goal is not to be free from stress, but to learn to live with it differently. To change our relationship to it. To meet stress as a product of our own mind, not as something that just magically materialized from people and events in our environment. Without that…

The most mature, adult thing we can do is to remind ourselves that we have a choice. We may not be able to control a damn thing about the results we see in this world, but if we care enough, there’s always some part of the process that’s up to us. Bandura, a legendary psychologist and professor, uses the term self efficacy to describe this choice making experience. It’s…

I’ll never forget the time when the concierge at my hotel recommended going for a hike on their property’s private trail. Sounded fun and scenic to me, so off I went. But with one foot out the door, she gave me a warning. Just watch out for mountain lions, they’re native to this region. Have fun! Well okay then. Appreciate the warning. Suffice it to say, my hike was…

My friend was once telling me how she received stock options from her previous employer. Unfortunately, the ninety day period was closing in. And if she didn’t exercise her options, her shares would expire. She wasn’t sure what to do about the situation, so my other friend, who has a background in accounting and finance, jumped in. Here was his advice to her:L The emotional and psychological burden of…

Do you get lost in fantasies of future events? Are you constantly longing for something better to happen next? You’re not alone. This is a profoundly human trait. We just love avoiding the depth and joy of life right now. And one of the chief ways we do this is by thinking ahead. Trying to extend our certainties further into the future than this present moment. Which can be…

During a particularly depressing low point in my unemployment, riding the subway was dangerous for me. Not because of the poor air quality, germs on the seats, disease carrying rodents, slippery platform edges or potential assault and battery from mentally disturbed passengers, but because of my fellow commuters going to work. That’s what sent my brain into a spiral of unkindness. Some regular guy would be sitting across from…