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On my last day of work at a startup, my boss sent me one final memo. Scott, you’re the only employee who ever consistently emailed the company leaders with a thank you about your bonuses. We really appreciate it. I was both touched and shocked. How could that be possible? You’re telling me that when forty employees get a bonus check for a thousand dollars apiece, simply for doing the…

Going from zero to one is significantly different than going from one to two. Because the first time you have an experience, you’re just a rookie. You don’t have the benefit of context, comparison, data, precedent and perspective. And so, the event makes you feel blindsided. Disoriented. Like somebody pulled the rug out from under you. Here’s an example of a zero to one experience from my own career….

Starting with why is a fine idea. But what about starting with who? As in, who you are? If it’s true that you are the most important person in your life, then it stands to reason that your true self should be the baseline from which all actions are taken. Because when you know who you are, every moment isn’t a moral challenge, it’s just a checklist. Motivation is…

Everybody wants everything both ways. It’s the law of unreasonable incompatibility. Westerners use the idiom, you want to have their cake and eat it too. But this principle has its own quirky expression in just about every culture. Albania says, to take a swim and not get wet. Bulgaria says, to have the wolf fed and the lamb in tact. Italy says, to keep the barrel of wine with…

My body shop mechanic once told me: Your car is always speaking to you, but you have to listen. He was absolutely right. Although his advice would have been a lot more helpful earlier that day when my engine was catching on fire while going eighty on the highway. Guess we all live and learn. That’s what you get for doing car karaoke without paying attention to the check…

Decisiveness is a universal quality of successful people. The ability to make choices quickly and confidently, and not hastily and arrogantly, is precisely what gives us the ability to take action and move our story forward. However, when it comes to the deeply complicated issue of our identities, making a decision isn’t always necessary or even useful. Because we’re not supposed to be one thing in life. Part of…

Some people believe every choice they make is a significant life decision that will have a profound effect on the whole of their existence. T he butterfly is forever flapping its wings. Anything could mean everything, and so, each move they make is carefully scripted and manicured. It’s not worth doing if it’s not worth over thinking first, right? God forbid their choices are not optimized for perfection. The…

In our world of infinite choice and constant distraction, it’s never been easier to bail on our plans with people. It seems that basic social contracts like setting a date and actually showing up on time have become a scarce commodity. Technology and psychology theorists blame this trend on a number of sources, some under our control and some not. But why people flake out doesn’t concern me as…

The loneliness of young people has reached epidemic proportions. Researchers are affectionately calling the youngest of the individuals surveyed, the loneliest generation. That’s absolutely heartbreaking to me. Heartbreaking. And here’s why. Loneliness is not some mystifying, highly contagious disease that medical professionals have yet to find a cure for. It’s a choice. We may not be conscious that we’re making it, and it may not be an easy one…

The irony of workaholism is, often times the greater the achievement, the deeper the emptiness. We make heroic effort, reach the climax, receive attention and approval from others, stimulate the reward system in our brain, and then we crash. And once the drug wears off, the darkness comes pouring in. Mean voices inside our head remind us that we’re actually unworthy and incompetent, and we had better get back…