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Nothing distresses our species as much as irrationality. Irrational beliefs have been shown to lead to a vast range of dysfunctional emotions and behaviors, and are associated with everything from depression to anxiety to burnout to suicidal thoughts. Ellis, a pioneer in the field of cognitive behavioral therapy, said it best in book. Your unhealthy negative feelings are almost always accompanied by some irrational belief. For example, one category…

Here’s why I dislike complaining so much. It’s a pure projection of powerlessness. Total victim mentality. We have externalized personal responsibility by delivering mouthfuls of misery about our own existence. Which, to be fair, earns us catharsis, attention, validation, support and camaraderie. But all of those are all short term gains. The positive outcomes are limited. There is an illusion of control, since we are at least able to…

Easily amused is supposed to be an insult. Cynical people use this label to imply someone is stupid, simpleminded and unsophisticated. It’s code for low brow, undiscerning and prone to infantile joy. The easily amused person is satisfied by the lowest common denominator. Our social norms view them as inherently negative individuals who lack intellectual and emotional depth. After all, we live in a culture that emphases productivity and…

Do you know somebody who hates being told what to do? Neuroscience researchers explain this personality is called control averse. These people resent restrictions on their freedom of choice and are compelled to reassert this freedom. A study even showed how certain brain regions were more strongly activated during people’s controlled decisions than their free decisions. And the reasoning was, people felt misunderstood and untrusted. But hating being told…

Despite living in a time where all the world’s knowledge is available to anyone with a cell phone, we still live in an uncertain realm, filled with empty space, hanging questions and knowledge gaps. And because of the fundamental human desire for predictability and control, we eagerly fill those holes. Our brains have a way of color correcting the world, so to speak, when we believe it’s been filtered…

In most professional relationships, whether it’s doctor patient, boss employee, interviewer interviewee, therapist client, teacher student or coach player, there are always going to be power dynamics and knowledge gaps. And these imbalances can make it difficult for us to challenge the advice and instruction of the person in the authority position. Resisting makes us feel guilty, impolite or ungrateful. Especially if there is an investment of time or…

A trend you’ll notice in memoirs, documentaries and autobiographies is when the character looks back on some particular period of their lives with fondness, gratitude and wonderment. Maybe it was their childhood when they had boundless energy, no cell phones and romped around the neighborhood every afternoon until dark. Or adolescence when they were coming of age and the whole world was still in front of them. Or maybe…

One of the few lessons I retained from high school algebra was a principle called the order of operations. This is a collection of rules that reflect conventions about which procedures to perform first in a given mathematical equation. The guiding acronym for the order of operations was pemdas, aka, parentheses, exponents, multiplication, division, addition, subtraction. The way we remembered that was through the mnemonic device, please excuse my…

I used to set a lot of goals. Dozens of them every year. This was a deeply meaningful personal growth exercise that motivated me to accomplish great things in my life. And it’s funny, I will occasionally go back and review my old lists of goals and visions boards from when I first started my publishing business. Clearly, I was a man on a mission. All the cylinders were…

Everyone is the same everywhere. We’re all on the same side of the fence, for better and for worse. Wherever we go, we end up with the same beauty and craziness of humanity, no matter who we meet. People are people. They generally act the same. Now, if this sounds like a gross overgeneralization to you, let me invite you to not be so ethnocentric. Because it’s a philosophy…