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Nothing seems crazy when you’re used to it. Whether it’s an abusive relationship, a toxic workplace, a compulsive habit, or some other harmful circumstance, you never realize how bad it was until you walk away and heal from it all. It’s only when you get to the other side and find the happiness you didn’t know you could feel, that you see your past with straight eyes. But that’s…

Multiple studies have shown that young people are having less sex than previous generations. The exact reasons for this trend are debatable, but one thing’s for sure. Sex isn’t the problem, it’s the symptom. What’s more concerning is our culture’s broader withdrawal from physical and emotional intimacy. And it’s hard not to appreciate the allure. Why waste our time and energy on the vulnerable, gradual and reciprocal exchange of…

Moderation has never really worked for my personality. Despite my best efforts to adopt an everything in moderation maxim, turns out I’m an all or nothing kind of guy. Timing and monitoring and measuring my effort doesn’t motivate me, it exhausts and frustrates me. Framing my level of activity and consumption as sensible, whatever the hell that means, only ruins the experience for me. Unlike some people, occasionally indulging…

Complaining is satisfying because it relieves tension, earns validation, builds connection and enables catharsis. What’s not to like? To quote one of my favorite comedians, the thing about sitting in your own shit is, it’s warm, it’s familiar and it’s yours. But the danger is when people spend more time complaining about their situation than solving it. Trapped in a doom loop of their own making, they forget one…

Aristotle was the first philosopher to systematize logical errors into a handy list. He referred to them as the thirteen fallacies, one of which is called the irrelevant conclusion. It’s when an argument is given, from which a perfectly valid, sound conclusion could be drawn, but despite having all the information, people come to a conclusion so wrong that it’s even further from correct. Movies and television portray these…

Mizzou scientists discovered that cell phone separation can have serious psychological and physiological effects on users. Their study demonstrated that our phones are capable of becoming an extension of our selves such that when separated, we experience a lessening of self and a negative physiological state. What’s most fascinating to me is the questionnaire itself. Because so many of the line items can be easily and quickly refuted with…

For most of my young adult life, goals motivated me to do things. The experience of setting, documenting, sharing, reviewing, achieving and reflecting upon them was a significant source of satisfaction for me. Until it wasn’t. Until it occurred to me that the hedonic treadmill really has no end. Goals are for the person you are when you set them, not necessarily the person you’re going to be when…

Imagine you’re running late for an important meeting. On the way to the office, you start getting sweaty, hurried and anxious. Sitting in traffic, helpless as a leaf in a gale, you cycle through the excuse barrage in your mind. How will you justify being late so your coworkers aren’t pissed and your client doesn’t fire you? Maybe tell them there was a traffic accident. Say you jumped out…

The time it takes to make a decision increases with the number and complexity of choices. And as the decision time increases, the user experience suffers. This law was first uncovered in the fifties, and since then has become a key tenet of effective web design. Ask any of the programmers you know. Nobody wants to paralyze and frustrate their user. Kill all the pointless features and just give…

The cashier bagging my groceries accidentally dropped a few of my avocados on the floor. No problem. Happens to everybody. They’re just going to be mashed into guacamole in twenty minutes anyway, right? But in that moment, here’s how the woman responded. First, she slammed her face into her hands and started berating herself for being an idiot. Next, she yelled out for one of her coworkers to come…