Brooks wrote a brillianton the deeper values that should inform our lives.
His research found that a person of character is someone who has achieved a settled philosophy about fundamental things. They possess an impressive inner cohesion. Instead of leading fragmented, scattershot lives, they are integrated and grounded.
What he forgot to mention is, when you make yourself moral, when you become a person of great character, you isolate yourself.
Because many people have a bad reaction to good habits. As a lifelong sober person, a fear of mine has always been the negative repercussions of refusing the alcohol and drugs that are offered to me.
Here are a few of the codependent questions that might run though my head:
Will saying no hurt someone else’s feelings? Will saying no result in other people’s judgment and disappointment? Will saying no alienate me from the group? And will saying no lose points with these new people with whom I seek to make a positive impression?
The short answer is, yes. Because all those things have happened to me, multiple times. That’s the purchase price of holding the line on my habits.
But the longer and more meaningful answer is, my sanity and health are more important than pleasing whoever is offering what I should not have.
Being a person of character, crafting a life that matches my vision of principled living, that’s job number one. It might not be a top priority for others, and that’s okay. No judgments.
But for me, becoming true to the best that is within me is high on the list. Making a practice to take full responsibility for my character is something that brings me fulfillment.
Think of it as my version of byob. bring your own boundaries.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Who is violating your moral code?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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