The more I know, the less I understand

I want to break down three dimensions of intellectual humility.

For each one, I offer suggestions for raising awareness of your cognitive fallibility.

The first piece of intellectual humility is independence of intellect and ego.

This refers to our ability to separate our beliefs and opinions from our sense of worthiness. We accept and evaluate ideas and information objectively, without letting personal emotions cloud our judgment.

This one is admittedly hard for me. Because I like relying on my own knowledge. I feel a spike of delight not turning to other people for expertise. Doing so reinforces my sense of identity as an independent, rebellious intelligent person.

It makes me feel like my ideas are better than other people’s ideas.

One way I’m trying to improving intellectual humility in this regard is to bifurcate. As an example, for my personal creative projects, like authoring books, composing music and making films, I give myself permission to ignore everybody’s input.

After all, the stakes are extremely low for these kinds of projects. My livelihood is not on the line, so I allow myself to get as emotionally invested as I want. No compromising needed. This permission satisfies my desire for independence, and quells my allergy to other people’s feedback.

Whereas for my day job on the marketing team at a tech company, that’s a very different story. Every morning when I sit down to work, I assume that I must remove my ego and personal emotions from the projects. I ready myself to disagree and commit, even if people’s feedback makes me want to jump out of my skin.

Because it’s no longer about me anymore, it’s about my immediate team, and the organization as a whole. And I don’t mind thinking that way, since I’ve scratched my egoic itch elsewhere.

How might bifurcation help you?

Number two for intellectual humility is openness to revising our viewpoints.

This refers to a willingness to reconsider beliefs in light of new evidence or perspectives. Not being overly attached to our opinions and remaining receptive and adaptive to alternate notions.

Einstein used a word in his work called complementarity, which means that we can have two mutually exclusive answers to a problem, and they could both be right.

I have been practicing this in my relations with others, from my wife to my friends to my coworkers. Instead of competing to see who can win the argument, I find ways that both of us are right. In my experience, approaching discussions as collaborative learning opportunities rather than mini competition creates a positive environment of mutual growth.

Now, some people simply can’t handle that kind of play, and that’s fine. Complementarity isn’t always possible. Sometimes for the sake of time, energy and sanity, it’s easier to defer, let people be in love with their own opinions, and move on.

In fact, sometimes I will play devil’s advocate for my own ideas and try to find the ways I’m wrong. I will treat the revision of my own viewpoints as a curiosity experiment. This approach makes it fun, educational and interesting.

My therapists said it best. If one person wins the argument, the relationship loses.

Apply that to every area of life, and humility will not be far away.

The final piece of intellectual humility is respect for other’s viewpoints.

This refers to our empathy for people who have valuable insights and info to offer, even if they differ from ours. Which basically includes everybody. We try to enrich our understanding with diverse perspectives in an environment of mutual learning.

This practice is circular. Because on one hand, more knowledge causes more humility. To quote a favorite pop song of mine, the more I know, the less I understand, all the things I thought I’d figured out, I have to learn again.

Henley was onto something.

But the other side of the intellectual coin is, more humility also causes more knowledge acquisition. A person who does not already know everything is able to learn more effectively. And once someone has the humbling experience of realizing how little they know, they’re much more driven to learn more.

One technique to try is, anytime you notice yourself respecting someone else’s viewpoints that differ from yours, give thanks. Add that moment to your gratitude list, and trust that it’s fueling your growth.

Trust that every time you humble yourself to other people’s genius, that doesn’t diminish your own value.

Quite the opposite. It enhances it. Almost like a ratio. For every idea other people share that you say yes to, there will be three new ideas you learn down the road. There’s an intellectual multiplier that’s worth its weight in gold.

But if you discredit people’s viewpoints from the get go, you block access to those downstream learnings.

In summary, let’s try a little nursery rhyme to tie it all together. In a land of curious minds, where humility resides, lives a little lesson, for all to realize. It helps us break the chains, of ego and of pride, and sets our hearts and minds, on a wondrous, learning ride. Intellectual humility, a treasure to behold, it sets our spirits free, from worries that unfold.

There’s no burdens on our thoughts, no fears to make us cold, we explore and learn, with minds both brave and bold.