Some people believe every choice they make is a significant life decision that will have a profound effect on the whole of their existence. T
he butterfly is forever flapping its wings. Anything could mean everything, and so, each move they make is carefully scripted and manicured.
It’s not worth doing if it’s not worth over thinking first, right? God forbid their choices are not optimized for perfection.
The problem with this habit is, despite appearing judicious and strategic in the moment, it’s not admirable or even useful. In fact, people with decision drama make themselves unnecessarily miserable and dissatisfied with their process.
My old coworker used to brag about how she only made social plans at the very last minute, just in case something better came along. It was absolutely exasperating habit. Most of the time she would become paralyzed and not even make a choice at all. She was also the single most stressed human being on the planet, and was out of the office sick at least a third of the time.
Could those trends be related?
Good lord, somebody teach this woman how to be an adult.
That coworker was a walking reminder to me that smart decision making is a skill worth having. Being a good chooser is a virtue worth developing.
From my perspective, job candidates should list that skill on their resumes right next to knowing how to code. Because once people finally accept that every single one of their decisions are inevitably imperfect, and most of them don’t even matter in final view, there’s no need to elevate their pulse managing any of the toxic effects.
They can decide firmly and with confidence, trusting that the right path is the one they take.
It is not likely that this will happen, however, since decision drama is so addicting. I think people like being bad at making choices. It’s an identity story they’re attached to. Joking about how they can never make a decision makes them happy. It’s the pellet that makes the rat feel like itself.
Movies and television shows play out this trope all the time. Media theorists refer to the archetype as the ditherer, aka, a character who struggle with all decisions.
Don’t ask them what they want for dinner unless you have an entire day free in your calendar. Don’t make them pick which film you’re going to see, because, by the time they’ve decided reluctantly which one to pick, the cinema will have closed.
Even the audience watching the screen is silently screaming, bitch, get your act together and stop navel gazing for the zillionth time.
Anyway, I’m not proposing a solution for how people can overcome such an immature, exasperating habit. They can decide to be as indecisive as their heart’s content. It’s not my job to cure anyone of their option anxiety.
People are going to do what they want to do until they, and only they, decide they don’t want to do what they’re doing every day anymore.
Dither away.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Whom is the most indecisive person you know?