How the hell does a window lie to you?

You know that moment when your brain starts pumping a cocktail of stress hormones into your bloodstream, and you begin to doubt your own thoughts, feelings, choices and desires?

It’s such a shitty place to be. Losing trust in your own judgment is one of those cruel tricks the mind plays on us.

Feels like a betrayal. Like you’ve been mentally hijacked.

My friend of has obsessive compulsive disorder, and when she finds herself in this untrusting state, she’ll actually ask a neighbor to check her windows to make sure that they are closed correctly, just in case her eyes try to deceive her.

Can you imagine not trusting yourself to that extent? How the hell does a window lie to you?

But each of us has our own version of this inner uncertainty. We think we want something in our lives, but we question the place that desire is coming from.

If this happens to you, here are a few things to think about.

One is that complete trust in ourselves is not always possible. We’re human. Doubt is proof that our faith has a pulse. And so, we should start by patiently forgiving ourselves for being imperfect.

Another thing is, we’re not alone. We’re not the first person to ever lose trust in their own desires. Particularly if we’re in some kind of pain. Whether it’s sadness, loneliness, emptiness, whatever, the pain is clouding our ability to believe in ourselves.

It happens to everybody. We’re not special in our suffering, and that’s a good thing.

Here’s something else. One of the reasons it’s so hard to trust our own desires is, it requires faith. We have to assume we haven’t been so brainwashed that we don’t know what they are anymore.

Which might not be the case. It’s quite possible that we’re the fish who doesn’t know they’re in water, and all those eloquent and seductive voices, both inner and outer, are working overtime to keep it that way. That might be the case.

And if so, see if you just can be with that without taking any action. If your feelings are unreliable and you can’t seem to exercise accurate judgment right now, so be it.

Remember, all emotions are weather patterns. All of them have a beginning, middle and end.

The clouds will clear eventually.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you trusting the flight of your life to a drunk pilot?