You need someone who is for you.
No matter what you say or reveal to them, they’re on your side and want to help. Even if they disagree with or disapprove of what they hear, they still give you the space to speak your truth out loud, and they hold it with you from a vantage point of unconditional love.
Someone who isn’t afraid of your feelings and trusts that your suffering is not a contagious disease.
Someone who can be loving wherever you are.
But this type of love is very hard to receive. Most of us don’t trust it.
A comedian pal of mine once joked, you almost start to resent people for loving you when you hate yourself.
But that’s the job description of the beloved. They willingly sign up be someone who accepts everything broken in you. Someone who can give the love that they never got.
After all, it’s called falling in love because you fall. You lose control. It’s not rational. And that’s okay. Sometimes the rational brain doesn’t need to talk the emotional brain out of its own reality.
My friend recently got married and wrote a beautiful manifesto about this very experience:
We are brought to our knees at the prospect of this thing. This love that we are together. We have surrendered. With the two of us, there is no need for explanation of what we feel. Because it is as obvious and powerful as the movement of seasons.
If you knew that this love was displayed in front of you, if you became suddenly conscious of all that it represents, wouldn’t you arrange your time to meet its rhythm?
And not out of obligation or out of arrangement. But because you believe in what has been laid at your feet.
His words remind us that although we live in a rational age when the miraculous has become unacceptable, one truth still remains.
Choosing not to believe in love won’t protect us from it.
Love wears us all down eventually.
It brings us back home, back to the place where we started, reunited with the one.
May that love be our worst kept secret.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Who loves you enough to let you be the way you are?