Our feelings are not right or wrong, good or evil, positive or negative, legal or illegal.
They simply are.
There is need to rank and judge them, or even beat ourselves up for having them. Just because a rush of furious anger, unexpected morbidity or unexplainable joy runs through our veins, doesn’t mean the feelings police are going to bang down the door drag us to the station.
And let’s not pretend those feelings aren’t there, either. When we deny that we feel something, it blocks our ability to deal with and move through that something.
On the other hand, when we notice and name our feelings, try to see them more clearly, and if possible, understand why they might be part of our current reality, then we can develop a very real sense of emotional efficacy.
Besides, it’s not like there has ever been a feeling that didn’t eventually go away. Emotions are weather patterns. Why not improve our meteorology skills in the meantime?
The important word here is reality. Let’s go back to that for a moment.
Somov writes in his inspiring book about perfectionism:
Reality is ever renewing, progressing from one state of completion to another, with or without us. Like a wheel, keeps turning, renewing itself in its entirety with every spin. And the best part is, we are not responsible for reality, reality is responsible for itself.
Isn’t that liberating? How wonderfully comforting to know that whatever feeling we are feeling, that particular slice of reality is beyond improvement. Thank god.
Reminds ME of a super helpful question to ask ourselves whenever that emotional rush comes in. What does this feeling want from me?
Let’s start living that question today, we might live our way into the answer tomorrow.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are your feelings being judged and condemned, or experienced and expressed?