Only a few times in twenty years has somebody told me they trust me less
for wearing a nametag. 

Apparently, it’s a trigger that makes certain people
question my intentions, actions and authenticity. 

Which is fine. People are
entitled to their opinions. 

But clearly, they do not know we very well. 

The irony is, vulnerability through
personal disclosure, specifically through the offering and exchanging of names,
is precisely what human beings to
build initial trust with each other when they first encounter. Names are the
basic unit of interpersonal bonding. They are what allow us to see and be seen,
to feel and be felt, and if we so choose, a foundation on top of which we build
a future relationship. 

And so, for a relatively unknown person to say they
trust me less because of wearing a nametag, well, that makes me wonder. 

Why is
a sticker, this simple and practice thing, so triggering for one person? What
is it inside of them that has such a problem? 

Look, most people are not as
interested in nametags as me. But like most things in the world, people’s
responses, criticisms and judgments say more about them than about us. 

Anais
was right when she said, we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we
are. 

Life is a mirror. All we have is our own biography. 

Remember that next
someone starts projecting their bile all over you. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What is most polarizing about your personality? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. 

And the bartender shouts, hey, what is this, some kind of joke? 

That one always cracks me up. Not only because it’s cheesy and essentially a joke about the joke itself, but also because it points to an interesting business principle that’s worth exploring. 

Godin was the pioneer of the business mantra, ideas that spread, win. His handy little book about purple cows became a cult classic that revolutionized marketing by teaching businesses that we are either remarkable or invisible. 

Which brings us back to the original question: 

Is this some kind of joke? 

Well, you be the judge. Think back to the last experience which compelled you to ask yourself some variation of that question. 

Perhaps it was the vendor at the local outdoor food market who was selling spaghetti donuts for ten bucks a piece. Are you kidding me? 

Or the store that makes custom handcrafted high quality unicorn horns with a line around the corner. Please tell me this is a joke. 

Or maybe it was the quirky dude you met at your friend’s party who has worn a nametag every day for the past twenty years and actually made a career out of it. You’re fucking with me, right? 

Each of these moments have commonalities. 

First, we perceive them to be an absurd or impossible experience. Second, they violate our assumptions in a simple, playful, surprising and benign way. Third, they break our brains just enough to stimulate curiosity and wonder, compelling us to want to learn more so we can relieve that cognitive tension. And finally, each of these little moments is worth making an immediate remark about. 

Do you really think customers actually enjoy the taste of spaghetti donuts? Of course not. 

What they enjoy is the rush of dopamine when they become the first in their friend group to post a picture of their food on social media. 

Is this some kind of joke? You’re damn right it is. That’s the whole point. Jokes are ideas that spread. And that’s why they win. 

It’s like that old game show from the sixties where the mystery guests with unusual occupations and remarkable experiences attempt to trick the contestants that they are the real person. 

Is it any wonder that it’s one of only two shows in history to have aired at least one new episode in at least seven consecutive decades? Of course not. 

Because people value laughter more than basically anything else. 

He who laughs, lasts. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What percentage of your customers initially thought your product was a joke?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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When we only concentrate on finding the right career, instead of becoming the right person in the process, then we set ourselves up for repeated disappointment. 

Because the job is not the point. That’s just the current incarnation. Our vehicle for ongoing reinvention. And they can take it away from us at any time. The economic winds can shift on a moment’s notice. 

What matters, what lasts, is moving from our condition of brokenness to wholeness. Finding the love we can never lose. Building an integrated life that conveys a deep sense of meaning and evokes a dazzling quality of aliveness, regardless of whether or not we have exactly everything we always wanted at this very moment. 

The longing for what is missing, that melancholy of existential incompleteness, this is precisely the type of energy that will repel the people we are so desperately trying to impress. 

Reminds me of some relationship advice my aunt once gave me:

Love is not about finding the one person who will complete you, love is about two people coming together to share their mutual completeness. 

Remember, the more we assume that when we find the right thing, then everything will be all right, the further we are running from wholeness. 

We must decide that we are enough, right here, right now. 

And then carry that love with us out into the world for all to enjoy. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

When will you take the next step in the direction of your wholeness?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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We spend so much time and energy trying to land the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect whatever. 

They have to fit the bill, we warn. Because we are not settling. Not this time. Somebody has a little something called high standards, thank you very much. 

And so, if the stars and planets and moons are not perfectly aligned, then we won’t waste our time. Not getting any younger over here. 

This type of attitude towards our dreams might be noble, but it’s also naïve. 

Ask anyone who has been married for more than a few years. When the right person showed up, all their little rules went out the window. When they met somebody who made their heart flutter, somebody whom they didn’t want their life to be explainable without, all bets were off. 

Farmiga delivered a famous monologue about this very issue:

“When we’re young, we see settling as some sort of a failure. But by the time someone is right for us, it doesn’t feel like settling. And the only person left to judge us will be the young version of ourselves with a target on our back.”

It’s not settling, it’s maturity. 

All of our precious deadlines, requirements, silly lists and checked boxes are counterproductive. They are closing the door to meaningful opportunities and relationships. 

Besides, sometimes we do get exactly what we want, only to find out that it’s not what we really needed. Or that it doesn’t actually fulfill our desires. 

And so, who are we to say what may or may not work for us in the future? 

Perhaps it’s time to surrender our perfectionistic standards of what life should be and open ourselves to what could become. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What are you willing to give up to get what you say you want?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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Fear is a biological response. 

An evolutionarily advantageous feeling. 

An alert that enables us to take appropriate action to guarantee our safety in the face of perceived threats. 

Worry, on the other hand, is a habit we have acquired. It offers no real protection and cannot keep us or those we love safe. It never guarantees anything, it just keeps us agitated. 

Interestingly enough, the word worry derives from the term wyrgan, meaning, to strangle. 

Which makes perfect sense. Because when we spend swaths of our days projecting imaginary future scenarios and worrying about them, constantly tensed against some fictional catastrophe, it prevents us from fully living right now. It chokes off our sense of aliveness. 

Look, considering that all things will work out in their own way over time anyway, whether we worry about them or not, can we please just admit that it’s not the best use of our time and energy? 

Instead, let us all stand outside of our own small circle of anxiety, breathe in the bigger picture and focus on enjoying the ride. 

Because odds are, when the history of the world is written, whatever is tying our guts into knots right now, is not going to be in it. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you creating conflict before any actually exists by worrying about something in advance? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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Individualists are an interesting breed. 

We are the hyper creative, highly sensitive, meaning making machines who solely choose to do things as an expression of our identity.

That’s how we roll. The more the world nags us to do something for its reasons, the more it ignites our spirit of resistance. Because we don’t play by anybody’s rules, not even our own. 

Now, this is not a judgement one way or another. It’s more about understanding the motivational system of this peculiar personality. 

And so, whether you are an individualist yourself, work with one, or married to one, god bless your patient soul, here are several personality paradoxes to keep in mind. 

Because we have a motivational need to express our uniqueness and be authentic, we grow resentful when we’re not congratulated on our idealism. 

Because we insist on putting our personal signature on everything that we do, we feel hurt and attacked when someone misunderstands our way of doing things. 

Because we express our creativity as an essential tool to maintain our wellbeing, we feel soul sick in environments where our visions cannot be freely expressed. 

Because we construct our identity around how unlike everyone else we are, we become claustrophobic when we are not remembered for our specialness. 

Because we possess a gift that sets us apart from mainstream conventionality, we grow envious for the simpler forms of happiness that others so readily enjoy. 

Because we often behave in bizarre ways that guarantee we will remain obscure, we long for the people who will appreciate the secret self that we have privately nurtured and hidden from the world. 

Because we have a biological need to bring forth our many talents into the world and express them in a way that is extraordinary and original, our brains break when someone accuses us of being derivative. 

Just a few things to keep in mind if you or someone you know is a member of this quirky but complex tribe. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you understanding of people’s natural strands of rebellion?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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We capable of changing everything if we choose. 

But we should also never underestimate how difficult the process of change is. 

Each of us has a deep aversion to abandoning something that we believe is working for us. Even if we claim that we really do want to change, odds are, the majority of us would rather justify staying the we are. 

Because unlike computer software, where all we have to do is click on the installation icon, wait for the setup program to load, enter in the product key, press start, and watch the slick new update switch over before our very eyes, unshelling the current operating system of our life and installing a new one is a much messier, longer and harder process.

But it does often initiate with some kind of realization. Some kind of holy shit moment. 

Ten years into my career, the clarifying moment went something like this:

Oh wow, my plan is not working anymore, and my current source of power, successful as it has made me, has now become more trouble than it’s worth. 

And hell, that was only the beginning. It took another few years to figure out how to redirect that dysfunctional energy into a new way of being, plus the startling assortment of small parts, false starts and broken hearts that happened along the way. 

At some point, though, we all have to be willing to accept the limits of our model of reality. We have to open ourselves into the maelstrom winds of possibility and think to ourselves, oh hell yes, this could be the genesis of a new way of being. 

Are we willing to do the work required to enact real change? Not just bullshit window dressing change, putting the same old poison in a new bottle, but real and holistic and ontological transformation? 

We are certainly capable, that’s for sure. 

Will, on the other hand, is a very different thing.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What has always been heroic about your behavior in the past that is now preventing you from being effective?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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Romance is not complicated or difficult or even expensive. 

It simply requires intention and attention, which most people are too busy, too lazy or too afraid to give. 

Even if we are not fundamentally lovey dovey touchy feely people, just about anything we do that goes beyond the bare minimum counts as being romantic. 

Whether we’re with a date, a partner, a customer, an employee or a stranger, anytime we lend a bit of love to the ordinary, anytime we layer meaning on top of the mundane, anytime we do anything that makes the other person think to themselves, holy smokes, did they do that just for me, then romance is certainly in the air. 

In literature and music, for example, romance was first categorized as art that emphasized imagination, emotion, introspection and celebrated the freedom of the spirit. 

Those are perfectly helpful guidelines for anyone who isn’t sure where to start. 

Reminds me of the advice my mentor once gave to me about making presentations:

Don’t read your slides, romance them. Unite your screen, your audience and your words together in one big love triangle. 

Remember, being with boring people can feel worse than being alone. 

Turn the lights down low, and invite people come see these gifts you have made for them. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What could you say to bring some love and warmth into this experience? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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The bad news is, each day bombards us with more threats to our sense of meaningfulness, more reasons to lose all faith in humanity, more stories that grip our hearts with painful feelings of shame and hopelessness, and more reminders of the universe’s sheer indifference to our plight. 

But the good news is, each day is also an opportunity to prove to ourselves that meaning is made, not found. 

No matter how many grim headlines we are assaulted by, meaning is and always will be the world’s finest renewable resource, of which we are the sole arbiters. And if we can teach ourselves to intentionally frame everything we do as a vehicle to create meaning for us, then the slings and arrows of ordinary misery won’t stand a chance. 

Epictetus, a slave turned philosopher, wrote that nothing lies completely in our power except our judgments, desires and goals. He said that misery was a choice and not an inevitable condition. And that if we divide our life into two different categories, the externals we can’t control, and the choices we can make in response to them, then we have a useful filter for experiencing the world. 

Epictetus figured out hundreds of years ago that meaning is not something outside ourselves we to search for. It is not something we either have or don’t have. 

We are the source of it. We can make as much of it as we want. We can become confident contributors to every situation we encounter. 

And it all begins by asking ourselves if what’s happening is an uncontrollable external, or an intentional choice. 

Start there and meaning will be close behind. 

No matter what headlines you may read. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you treating every adversity as the stimulus to live well, or another goddamn reason to be disappointed and frustrated? 

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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When we envy, we are never free from stress. 

Each time we covet another person’s career, each time we assign ourselves the role of deciding who deserves what, each time spitefully ask how anyone could get so far on so little, we squeeze a little more cortisol into our bloodstream and squelch a little more joy out of our hearts. 

It’s not healthy and it’s not helpful. 

Stoic philosophers claimed envy was the mobilizing force that helped us discern the direction of our desire, but it’s really an infectious disease that we inflict upon ourselves when we are afraid to love. 

My favorite fiction novelist, when asked if success among his writer friends created animosity, maintains an admirable mindset around this issue. He writes that everyone who has success is adding to the success of the entire business, enlarging the pool of industry finances, and making it possible for others to succeed. One man’s triumph increases the opportunities for all. 

Koontz doesn’t contract into envy when his book gets bumped off the charts, he expands into gratitude, abundance and affirmation. He doesn’t imprison himself through the poison of comparison, he simply trusts that where there is one, there is a ton. And he doesn’t waste vast amounts of energy bemoaning what everyone else is getting away with, he trusts the fact that something happening at all means that it’s possible. 

How much energy are you spending bemoaning the success of others? Is that feeling of envy really a tuning fork for your instrument of motivation, or is it contracting your heart into a state of scarcity and tension? 

Listen, everybody is getting away with something, but each of us still has a responsibility not to participate in the spread of envy’s contagion. 

If you want to complain, go make something. Metabolize your resentment into something meaningful instead of spewing more bile into the world. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you ready to move the boulder of resentment that is blocking the entrance to your own heart?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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