Busking is a profoundly honest, simple
and vulnerable way of sharing art.
Because all you can do is be good and rely
on the goodwill of others. That’s the code.
I’ve been performing music in
public for several years now, and the best piece of advice I was given was to
treat every patron as a ten second love affair. After all, it’s brief but beautiful
moment you share together. A fleeting dance with the universe. Why not give
that moment some weight. Why not smile and look them in the eye and nod with
gratitude and sing your heart out and give them a little piece of your heart?
It’s like a game. How much of myself can I pour into this interaction?
In fact,
it’s not only an effective strategy for busking, but also a brilliant strategy
for business. Because the goal isn’t to make sales and wow customers and lead
employees, the goal is to become known for a unique way of interacting with the
world. That’s how we earn our way into people’s memories.
I have a client in
the healthcare industry whose executive vice president has weekly meetings
calledchatting over chocolate.Anyone in the company, regardless of experience or position, has the
opportunity to reserve twenty minutes of his time to sit down in person and
chat over chocolate. About anything. That’s his unique way of interacting the
world. That’s how he pours himself into his interactions.
All of the employees
now have diabetes, but that’s neither here nor there. Besides, it’s healthcare
company. They have insurance. Free syringes for everybody.
The point is, you
don’t have to perform music on the streets to implement the interpersonal value
of busking. Dylan once sang, I will go to the ends of the earth for you to make
you feel my love. I wonder what the world would look like if more businesses
applied the same philosophy to their customer interactions.
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Digger deeper to keep your dream alive
If we don’t believe our dream is feasible and worth the effort it will take, if we can’t be trusted to make the changes and improvements that will give our dream a greater likelihood of success, if we’re not completely willing and able to carry that dream to fruition, and if we don’t possess the resilience to overcome setbacks along the way, we’re in for a world of disappointment.
Because that’s the danger of dreaming. It’s easy for us to overstate the possibilities and exaggerate and convince ourselves that something is going to work, even though we have doubts.
The question is, how do we decide when it’s time to let go and when it’s time to dig deeper to keep our dream alive? How do we convince our subconscious mind to tell us the truth?
Sleep on it. Literally. There’s a powerful meditation practice I’ve used for years called sleep thinking. It’s a bedtime ritual of surrendering myself each night to learning about my own dreams and what they need from me.
Here’s how it works.
I repeat a single, silent question to myself as I drift off to dreamland. What wants to be written? What’s next for my dream? What am I afraid to know about my life?
It matters less what the question is and more that I’m communicating with myself about my own thoughts and feelings.
Then, the moment I wake up, I purge my thoughts onto paper, documenting everything I noticed in my dream, looking for patterns and signs and ideas and messages.
It’s not guaranteed to work. It’s not a predictable construct. But by trusting my own resources, having faith that insight about my dream will bubble to the surface eventually, it’s always a valuable practice.
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What’s your best practice for convincing your subconscious mind to tell you the truth?
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Moments of Conception 200: The Basketball Scene in Just One Of The Guys
All creativity begins with the moment of conception.
That little piece of kindling that gets the fire going. That initial source of inspiration that takes on a life of its own. That single note from which the entire symphony grows. That single spark of life that signals an idea’s movement value, almost screaming to us, something wants to be built here.
Based on my books in The Prolific Series, I’m going to be deconstructing my favorite moments of conception from popular movies. Each post will contain a video clip from a different film, along with a series of lessons we can learn from the characters.
Today’s clip comes from the basketball scene in Just One Of The Guys:
Make the choice to lean into a different future. Reinventing yourself isn’t about changing your clothes
and the way that you walk. It’s about springing yourself past a frontier and
letting the constellation of your identity expand so you can see the beginning
of a different and more courageous dream. It’s about letting go of everything
you’ve tried and built and accomplished and accumulated so far, except for the
person you’ve become, and using that as the raw material for whatever comes
next. I once wrote a letter of
resignation to myself. It was a transformative experience. And not because I
was retiring in the traditional sense. I had no intention of separating myself
from society and giving up my business and withdrawing into seclusion. Rather,
what I was retiring from was a particular way of being. What I was letting go
of was a posture and a process that had been good to me. Dylan famously said
that before you can reinvent yourself, you have to believe you have nothing
left to say. That’s exactly how I felt. That I had nothing left to say. That I
had done enough to be okay with myself. And I felt complete about that part of
my journey. At that very moment, something inside of me shifted. A threshold
was crossed. A graduation was had. And with one eye on the receding horizon of
my past, a portal opened up, inviting me to cross a new frontier. Since then,
I’ve been upgrading my operating system. Making deep changes in my life. And
I’ve never been happier. I feel like a whole new person, and yet, more like
myself than ever. What habits do you need
to jump out of to reinvent yourself?
Pursue wholeness, not perfection. Terry isn’t taken seriously because of her good
looks. And when she fails to get dream job as a newspaper intern, she remedies
the situation by enrolling at a rival high school and disguising herself as a
boy. Over the next year, she is heartbroken and humiliated multiple times over.
But by the time the semester is over, she has enough experience to write a long
article detailing her cross dressing and romantic experiences, both good and
bad. When her article is printed in the newspaper, she receives high praise
from her teachers and friends and finally earns her dream job at the newspaper
office. It’s a beautiful story about identity and creativity, but it’s also a
powerful narrative about the journey towards wholeness. Because we’re all
searching for completeness. We’re all trying to trust the soul to know its own
shape. Terry ultimately achieves this goal, but she does it on her on steam.
And she does it by embroiling herself in the confusion and struggle of being
one of the guys. But by plunging into the humbling fire of heartbreak and
humiliation and hardship, she rise from the ashes with an upgraded version of
her authentic identity. Proving, that wholeness comes
when we’re willing to admit that we’ve reached the end of ourselves. Where in your
life are you not choosing wholeness?
Burn yourself down and
salt the earth. Net worth is defined as the total
assets minus total liabilities. The term is traditionally used when talking
about the value of a company or an individual’s economic position. But here’s
an interesting experiment. Try approaching the word metaphorically, not just
monetarily. That’s what truly wealthy people will tell you. That net worth has
nothing to do with money. Rather, your net worth is what you have when
everything is taken away. Your net worth is what’s left when after the fire
department clears out all the ashes. And so, the better questions to ask are,
what are the things that nobody can take away from you? What are the assets
that truly belong to you and only you? And what have you earned the right to
own that the world can never repossess? The answer is, the person you’ve become. That’s your birthright. The perspective
you’ve gained and the wisdom you’ve earned and the humanity you’ve deepened.
Nobody can take that away from you. When I initiated my own process of
reinvention, one of my friends said something I’ll never forget. He told me
that I wasn’t starting from scratch, but letting go of everything I’d tried and
built and accomplished, except for the person I’d become. You are the only
thing you have to offer, he said, and that will be enough to reinvest into
something new. When was the last time you
reinvented yourself?
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What did you learn from this movie clip?
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Compassion is the great counterweight of life
Just because you miss a day, doesn’t mean you’re a piece of shit.
There’s no need to pull out the whip and start walloping yourself.
Because for every act of exertion, there’s an equal and opposite moment of acceptance. That’s the true mark of a growing, deepening practice. And it’s a deeply liberating, relaxing and satisfying place to be.
You’re disciplined, but you don’t have to beat yourself up. You’re focused, but you don’t have to be so hard on yourself. You’re committed, but you don’t have to be unkind to yourself. You’re intense, but you don’t have to stop loving yourself. And you’re productive, but you don’t have to worry about proving yourself.
Once you arrive at that place, anything is possible. Or, if it’s not, that’s perfectly okay too.
Compassion is the great counterweight of life.
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How do you balance exertion with acceptance in your daily practice?
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Do these pants make my rut look big?
The world loves to tell us there’s no money, there’s no
jobs and everybody is going bankrupt.
The problem is, that script feeds
perfectly into our sense of panic. It makes us small. It constricts our sense
of possibility and closes our vision to the very opportunities that might
actually earn us money. And then, that mindset restarts the cycle all over
again.
But make no mistake, there’s plenty of money. There’s plenty of work. Just
not for people who are panic stricken. Consider this. Many of the most
innovative companies in the world were born during times of scarcity:
Each of these businesses started during a down
economy. Why? Because someone with an abundance mentality noticed an
opportunity and said,wait, there’s money
here.
Proving, that while we might not able to increase our success, what
wecando is increase is our field of
vision, and that allows us to better notice the opportunities that lead to
success.
Do these pants make my rut look big? No, your attitude does. Mindset
doesn’t affect outcome, but it does affect experience.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What are the giants you need to slay to make your attitude what it needs to be?
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Converting rejection into fuel
I’ve been wearing a nametag every day for the past sixteen years.
Suffice it to say, there’s been a significant amount of resistance and rejection. People have given me death stares, walked away mid conversation, ripped the label right off my shirt, even started fights with me in the middle of the street.
All for wearing a nametag. Go figure. You’d be surprised how many things people are not ready for.
But what I’ve learned in the process is, anybody can avoid rejection. The real victory is when you respond to rejection quickly, attractively and memorably. Master that skill, and anyone who comes into contact with you isn’t going to forget you in a hurry.
I recently read an inspiring news story about a high school senior who got rejected from her number one college choice. She thought it’d be funny to give them a taste of their own medicine. And so, she sent them a letter to inform them that she could not accept their rejection.
Thank you for your rejection. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me admission. This year I have been fortunate enough to receive many rejection letters from the best and the brightest universities in the country. And despite your outstanding success in rejecting previous applicants, you simply did not meet my qualifications. Therefore, I will be attending your college as a freshman in the fall. I look forward to seeing you then.
Not only did this letter go viral, but the university actually responded to her rejection of their rejection, saying they were sorry she was so disappointed with their decision, and even told her the steps on how to ask for a repeal of their decision. In the end, however, she decided to attend college elsewhere.
Who came out the winner? She did. Because she responded to the rejection quickly, attractive and memorably. And now her story has become an urban legend.
Proving, that rejection is gasoline. It’s momentum that you can use to your advantage to get what you want. Don’t back down just because you’ve bumped up against some irritating obstacles and complications.
It’s just a test to see how badly you want it.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you letting some narrow minded putz shut you down or make you give up too soon?LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
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Take this poverty of vow
We declare that money is not that important. There are more valuable things in life. That it’s noble to take a vow of poverty. That there’s pride in living on a shoestring. And that making a good living isn’t the sole arbiter of happiness and fulfillment.
But while those beliefs might be true, there’s a fine line between false modesty and financial irresponsibility.
A mentor of mine recently asked me if I was under earning to feel morally superior to those who have money. Guilty as charged. That described my behavior exactly. It was reverse snobbery at its finest. I was under earning to overcompensate for the fact that I came from a wealthy family. I was under charging because I didn’t want to relive the feelings of guilt and shame I felt as a child for being the kid who had money. And as a result of this unhealthy relationship with money, I was undervaluing my capabilities, sabotaging my earning potential, avoiding taking meaningful risks, failing to follow up on profitable opportunities, allowing myself to get flattered into free work, giving more than I asked for, putting other people’s needs ahead of mine and operating by wishful thinking instead of strategizing and negotiating.
A textbook under earner.
That’s why I’ve spend so much time recoding my brain’s financial wiring. Money matters. It’s fuel and lubrication for the engine of life. I deserve to earn a lot of it. Money is flowing into my life from all directions. I will always have plenty of money to do all the things I want to do. And my income will grow to the extent that I do.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How are you sabotaging your own earning potential?
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How much sugar do you have in your house?
Where will the money come from?
That’s the looming question for any professional with unpredictable, episodic or portfolio based income. Handy addressed this crucial issue in his treatise on entrepreneurship nearly thirty years ago, and his response was fascinating. Because for a person living a cash flow life as opposed to a salary life, where money comes in fits from multiple sources, it’s almost impossible to answer that question with any mathematical certainty.
Here’s how he framed the it:
I honestly don’t know what sort of money I earn. Think of this way. How much sugar do you have in your house? You have no idea. But I bet it’s always there. Money is the same way. You don’t add up the totals, but you make sure there’s enough coming in to pay the bills.
This is a profoundly right brain way of thinking. The kind of mindset that makes bankers and accountants break out in hives. But for many entrepreneurs, that’s the way their minds operate. They don’t always know what their annual income is, they just know they’re happy and healthy.
They can’t produce a profit and loss statement on a moment’s notice, they just know, intuitively, that their businesses is alive and well. They exude an attitude of prosperity and abundance and gratitude, trusting that money is flowing into their life from all directions, believing that they are richly supported, knowing that they are equal to the challenge of keeping the enterprise alive.
Which brings us back to the original question. Where will the money come from?
It’s still hard to tell. But it will come. Not always in the shape or amount or consistency that we anticipated, but it will come. We just have to be ready for the money that is waiting for us.
Because it only finds a home only in places where it’s appreciated.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How much sugar do you have in your house?
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Your ego can take you to some beautiful places
It’s true that your ego will always find something to cut the legs out from underneath your success. That it will throw at you everything it has to prove its story.
And yet, your ego is still a valuable vehicle. It’s simply a matter of knowing when and where and how to park it.
Maisel’s research on rethinking depression reminds us that we are all built with an ego and powerful desires and there is no reason not to honor that part of our endowment. Even if we have learned to live in a detached and phlegmatic and philosophical way, he writes, we can still cherish achievement. There is nothing paradoxical about holding both contentment and accomplishment as meaning opportunities.
Besides, too little ego can actually work against you. It can hamper your ability to be critical and start something new and stand alone next to your dream and do the necessary work required to make it a reality.
A healthy ego, on the other hand, can take you to some beautiful places. Because it’s an asset. A psychological reserve to be tapped into during situations when you need to bear down and face your fears and push through the doubt.
In fact, people with healthy egos, specifically company executives, tend to bound back from failure faster, inspire peak performances in others, have more optimistic outlooks about their direction, take calculated risks and feel secure enough in their ideas not to be threatened by feedback or criticism.
What’s not to like?
And so, no matter how many ancient teachings you read about the death of the ego as the path to enlightenment, understand that completely eliminating the ego is a near impossible feat. You’re not a celibate monk wearing a robe working in a garden.
Perhaps it might be more useful to recognize the ego, understand it for the bullshit that it can be, but also use it when necessary. There’s a fine line between having an ego and being egotistical. There’s a fine line between healthy ego needs and toxic ego traps.
As a coach friend of mine like to say, you can use your story, but once you start believing it, it’s using you.
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What’s your relationship with your ego?
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Driven to a desert of meaningless activity
Execution isn’t about what you do, it’s about what you delete.
When I first started my business, it’s almost embarrassing the number of tasks and routines and endeavors I engaged in that were stupid, unnecessary, expensive or simply made no sense at all.
Consider the amount of money I spent on four color printing for pointless collateral materials that customers didn’t even notice. That alone cost me and arm and a leg. Not to mention countless hours of time, frustration and energy.
But when you’re green and keen, you don’t know any better. You’re too underdeveloped in the discernment department. And so, you have zero sense of proportion. Everything is a priority. Every shiny object becomes equally urgent and important. Because there’s nobody around to tell you otherwise.
The best question I learned to ask myself was:
Is what I’m doing right now consistent with my number one goal?
If it wasn’t, I just stopped.
Another helpful productivity filter was:
Does doing this activity take up a disproportionate amount of time compared to the result?
If it did, I just stopped. This deletion process was liberating. Instead of exquisitely executing convenient tasks that deluded me into thinking I was actually accomplishing something, I learned how to do the real work that made real money.
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What are you still doing that doesn’t need to be done by anyone?
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Execution isn’t about what you do, it’s about what you delete. 