HELLO, my name is Manifesto

When I read Seth’s manifesto on Gaping Void yesterday, it truly inspired me.

I’ve actually been wanting to finish my own manifesto for a while now. Thanks to Seth, this week I finally got around to it:

HELLO, my name is Manifesto

1. Friendly always wins. Because it’s easier. Because, shockingly, not enough people are friendly. And because our world needs it.

2. Consistency is far greater than rare moments of greatness. Don’t pick and choose the people with whom you are genuine. Maintain congruency of character.

3. Make the mundane memorable. Do something cool every day. Break the silence. Break people’s patterns. Turn strangers into friends. Turn friends into customers. Turn customers into FANS. Be unforgettable.

4. Fans, not customers. Customers, schmustomers. Fans are the people who “love your stuff,” will go to the ends of the earth to work with you, will tell all their friends about you, and don’t need to be sold. Obtain them, love them, stay in front of them.

5. Be That Guy. Even if you’re not a guy. Branding is about becoming somebody who reminds everybody of nobody else. It’s about owning a word in the mind of the people you serve. It’s about being unique, not different.

6. Networking works. Because you just never know. That’s why, simply put, you should talk to everybody. And not because you want to get referrals, make sales or pass out 147 business cards; but because you want to develop and maintain mutually valuable relationships. After all, you can’t spell networking without W-O-R-K.

7. Interaction, not interruption. Make direct contact with your customers and prospects. Build community. Stop trying to sell stuff to everybody. Don’t interrupt or annoy people, rather, interact with them. Customers are excited about interacting and participating with cool stuff, cool people and cool ideas that make them feel comfortable and respected.

8. Don’t sell; enable people to buy. Concentrate your marketing efforts on creating a sense of attraction, a sense of gravity; that magnetizes customers, prospects and fans toward your company through a process of delivering value via your brand. It’s not who you know; it’s who knows you.

9. People buy people first. Before your company, before your products, before your services, before your ideas, before your suggestions, before your work, they buy YOU first. So, put your values before vocation, beliefs before business, person before profession, individuality before industry. And remember, Since you must sell yourself before selling your product, you must sell yourself on yourself. So believe in yourself.

10. If you don’t make a name for yourself, someone will make one for you. You can participate in the creation of your profession reputation, but you can’t control it. And you no longer have just your name, you have your name – PLUS – what people say after it.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Do you have a manifesto?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Email scott@hellomynameisscott.com with your manifesto (500 words or less). Submit no later than December 11, 2006, and I’ll post my favorites on this blog!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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27 ways to grow bigger ears

Last week I briefly talked about growing bigger ears.

Since then I’ve received tons of awesome feedback on the topic of listening. (If you still have tips and ideas, email scott@hellomynameisscott.com)

So, here’s my ever-growing list of Ways to Grow Bigger Ears:

1) Be less worried about what you’re planning to say next.

2) As soon as your follow-up question or rebuttal is formed, jot down just the major ideas (usually just nouns and verbs) to jog your memory when it’s your turn to speak.

3) In a pinch (i.e. sans paper), assign the thought to a finger which and tap gently on the desk or the arm of your chair.

4) The key is to free up your thought processes to be able to hear,
interpret, and internalize the content of an incoming message. It will
make you a better listener, and should deter you from jumping in too
early with a response.

(Thanks, Peter Marinari)

5. When in a restaurant, sit with your back to the TV so you aren’t distracted.

6. Ask questions on the information being presented.

7. Avoid turning the conversation back to you. If you use the word “I” alot, you are breaking that rule.

8. Listen for the suble difference between “I need you to solve my problem” vs “I am just telling you what frustrates me.”

9. Don’t anticipate the direction of the conversation in order to push it along faster than normal.

10. Don’t cut people off. Let them finish.

(Good stuff, Tony Chimento)

11) I always know that I am listening intently when I can see the size of my conversation partner’s pupils change size as the conversation happens. Don’t know why, but it works for me.

(Bravo, Debby “CNP Guru” Peters)

12) Aggressive Listening – listens to gather evidence for a position of view that is already fixed and confirmed. Listens with an agenda, and starts from the conclusion. This type of listening is closed, rigid and certain. It seeks to win a victory.

13) Learning Listening – listens in order to discover something new, to learn and understand – to be changed. Listens in order to focus on the other, and give them the gift of being truly heard. This type of listening is open, flexible and uncertain. The aim here is to win a relationship.

14) Restraint – Focus on the other person and avoid introducing your own story. Allow the other person’s story to stand on its own merit, without your commentary.

15) Questioning – To demonstrate your listening and to listen better ask open-ended questions that help to clarify (“What does that mean? Help me to understand this better…”), dig deeper (“Can you tell me more about…” “Please expand on this…”) or create a new angle. This can also the other person to understand their own story better!

16) Self-reflection – Often when we listen to others, our own body and mind begin to “resonate” with what we’re hearing. We listen with more than just our ears, intuitively we connect with the other person at a very deep level, and this can sometimes be “felt” in the “gut” or the “heart”. We may feel a particular emotion, or we may find ourselves getting agitated or tired. As we listen to the other person, we can tune in to what is happening within us, and this can help us to understand far more deeply than if we just use our ears.

(Solid content! Thanks John van de Laar)

17) (L I S T E N) has the same letters as (S I L E N T).

(Sweet. Thanks Michelle!)

18) Don’t jump ahead mentally to compose your response.

19) Include the speaker’s non verbals into how you “take in” what they are saying. The classic example of this is when someone says “Whatever” with body language that signifies that the outcome of whatever the debate/question had been is actually something they are heavily vested in.

19) Eye contact. I know this is one of those obvious basics, but I have a 7 year old who (like his father) doesn’t make eye contact readily. When I was lecturing him on why he received a “needs work” evaluation regarding his listening skills at gymnastics, he said, “just because I’m not looking doesn’t mean I’m not listening.” People don’t know that eye contact is critical.

(Cool, gracis to Paula E. Kiger from Florida Healthy Kids Corp.

20) Listen with your emotional ears, too.

21) Listen for the little pieces of info that can spur further questions.

22) 1 way NOT to grow bigger ears: DON’T grow a bigger head! It WON’T work ! 🙂

(From my old friend Allison, from KidSmart)

23) If it is more than a casual encounter take notes.

24) If at the end of twenty or thirty minutes of talking you’ve only got a few lines filled in, you probably talked more than you listened.

25) Want a real kick in the ass? Give a notepad to your client or guest and see who comes up with more notes at the end. If it’s them, how does that make you look?

26) I always repeat back someone’s name to them when we first meet, or else I’m likely to forget.

27) Throughout the event/party/meeting, I will look around the room and say to myself the names of the people I’ve met, just to reinforce it. It’s like I listen to the person the first time, then I listen to my mental repetitions after that!

(Good call, Coach Lisa.)

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What are your best tips for growing bigger ears?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
If you’d (still) like to contribute your tips for growing bigger ears, please email your best listening tips to scott@hellomynameisscott.com.

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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5 ways to punch your customers in the face

WARNING: This article does not encourage readers to actually punch their customers in the face.

Here’s what I mean…

In the process of breaking the silence, making the mundane memorable, turning strangers into friends, and turning friends into fans, you must IMMEDIATELY inform people of your credibility.

Get their attention quickly and blatantly. Like punching them in the face.

Here’s WHY I mean this.

We live in an untrusting culture. Customers and prospects are already skeptical before going to your site, reading your stuff or hearing you talk. You must disarm immediate preoccupation.

Everyone’s an expert. Or so it seems. And sometimes it’s hard to tell the gurus from the wannabe gurus. Which is why you must differentiate yourself.

More choices, less time. It’s the paradox of our generation. (It sucks, but it’s reality.) So, consider the fact that people form first impressions of you and your company within a few seconds.

Here are five situations in which you must punch people in the face with your credibility:

EXAMPLE 1: Websites
When someone comes to your homepage, what are you doing to project credibility within the first few seconds? Check out SNAP’s homepage. The first thing you see are the awards they’ve won. Nice.

EXAMPLE 2: Products
I believe in The Sticker Theory. By that I mean, “What little sticker could you put on the front of your product that enhances its value through increased credibility?” As seen on TV? Featured on Oprah’s book club?

EXAMPLE 3: Presentations
Within the first few minutes of your speech, sales presentation, etc., you need to prove your credibility to the audience so (a) you lay a foundation to validate future points, and (b) your audience listens to you. Remember, every presentation of some kind involves at least one person wondering, “What does this have to do with me?”

EXAMPLE 4: Bios
At the end of your articles or on your marketing materials, you probably have some sort of “bio.” And it’s usually short. What key words and phrases could you include? Have you been recognized as an expert? Worked in your industry for 30 years? Been inducted into the Million Dollar Club? Whatever it is, put it on there. For more ideas on this, check out The Dolly Parton Theory.

EXAMPLE 5: Entrances
Ever see that little Zagat sign in the window of a restaraunt? Or a CitySearch award on the wall of a club? Or the coveted 5-star award behind the concierge of a hotel? If so, you’ve just been punched in the face. Therefore, if you own a store, club, restaraunt, hotel or any other place of business that has a lobby or entryway, consider hangning “decorations of credibility” for all your customers to see!

NOTE: I’m not suggesting interruption marketing here. (If you read my recent post on that idea, you’ll see that’s not how I roll.)

This isn’t about annoying, abusing or assaulting customers. It’s about informing them of your credibility quickly, obviously and honestly so they feel more comfortable working with you in the future.

The thing is, in our fast paced, choice-saturated culture, sometimes you just gotta punch people in the face.

In an approachable way, of course 🙂

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you punching customers in the face with your credibility?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Email me (scott@hellomynameisscott.com) with a list of all the ways your company punches customers in the face with your credibility. I’ll compile them for a future article!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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God bless Triple D’s

Potential customers, fans, friends, family members, audience members, readers of your material, website visitors, and pretty much anyone else that comes into contact with your business needs to know three things.

This is what I call “The Triple D Factor.” (And no, it has nothing to do with Dolly Parton.)

PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU:

i. DO – for a living, as a professional, for companies, for customers. So, is your positioning statement clearly defined and posted where everyone can see it? And if a stranger asks your aunt Patty what you do for a living, will she do your business justice?

ii. DOING – right now, current news and projects, upcoming events. Do you have a calendar, rss feed or “upcoming events” section of your website and ezine? Are people anticipating your arrival?

iii. DONE – past clients, past successes, whom you worked with, how you helped them. How many testimonials do you have?

DO, DOING, DONE. Triple D’s. Got it? Good.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! See ya next week.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you use the Triple D Factor?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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Grow bigger ears

I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you that the art of listening is essential for making a name for yourself. Still, here are my four cents:

1) Listening is not waiting to talk.

2) You have one mouth and two ears. Listen and talk accordingly.

3) “You can’t learn if you’re speaking.” –Alan Weiss

4) A great way to show someone you’re listening is to say, “Wait, I don’t know what that means.”

Thank you.

That is all.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What are your best tips for growing bigger ears?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
I am writing an article called “50 Ways to Grow Bigger Ears.” If you’d like to contribute, please email your best listening tips to scott@hellomynameisscott.com and I will credit you in my upcoming column. Thanks!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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Lessons learned from a job that sucked (part duex)

If you haven’t read my first post in this three part series, probably do that first.

During that wonderful period after college, or as I like to call it, “The Two Years When My Business Wasn’t Making Money So I Lived in My Parents’ Basement and Worked a Part Time Job,” I took a nights/weekends position as a valet parker at a local hotel.

(Read how I got hired for this job at yesterday’s post.)

This job wasn’t nearly as bad as bartending or slinging couches, but it still sucked.

And whether I was running full speed for two straight hours during an 80-car wedding in the 105-degree heat, or standing by the lobby door until 2 AM layered in every piece of clothing I had during the biting cold of a St. Louis January, I learned a lot about customer service, business and life:

Whatever the Guest Wants
During training, I was actually instructed to “go to the ends of the earth” to accomidate the guests. A few months later, a guest nobody had ever seen before pulled into the drive in red Chevy Cavalier. I opened the door for him and he said, “Man, this car is a piece of junk!”

I replied with, “Don’t worry sir, you’ve come to the right place – I’ll get you a nice Benz from our garage.”

He laughed and said, “Scott, make it a Bentley and we got a deal!” as he handed me a hundred dollar bill. (sweet)

Later that day I went to the Bentley store and used his tip to buy a toy Bentley replica. I gave it to him the next day. He was so blown away that he 1) gave me ANOTHER hundred dollar bill, 2) became a weekly guest at the Ritz for a year.

I later found out that his name was Nicholas Innerbichler, Forbes Magazine Award Winner and CEO of Fortune 500 company, ESSI Engineering.

LESSON LEARNED: consider the lifetime value of a guest, go to the ends of the earth to make an unforgettable first impression on him and win a loyal customer for life. Because you never know.

Safety Always Comes First
It was late Saturday night. A really, really drunk man stumbled out the front door, looking for his car. He asked for his keys to the white BMW parked in spot #2. I fumbled for a sec, then asked, “Sir, how far away do you live?”

He told me five blocks. I told him to get in the car. I drove him home, parked his car in his driveway, then ran five blocks back to the hotel before anyone knew I was gone.

LESSON LEARNED: better me running than him driving.

5 Minutes Adds Up
My coworkers used to take an average of three smoke breaks a day. That’s 15 minutes a shift, 75 minutes a week, 3,750 minutes a year, 62 hours a year. I, on the other hand, didn’t smoke. (I didn’t get to take breaks like that.) So, I explained to my boss that it wasn’t fair, and asked him if I could request 62 hours of “smoker’s pay” added to my check at the end of the year; or request 62 hours of “smoker’s fee” be docked from my coworker’s checks at the end of the year. He suggested I either took up smoking or stopped whining. I stopped whining.

LESSON LEARNED: smokers suck.

Names Hold the Key
As the SUV came to a stop, I opened the trunk and pulled out the guest’s suitcase. I noticed from the luggage tag that the man’s name was Mr. Potashnick. When he opened the car door I said, “Good morning Mr. Potashnick!” He smiled and asked, “Now how in the hell did you know my name?”

I smiled back and said, “Sir, that’s why we call it Guest Service!”

He handed me a twenty.

LESSON LEARNED: get that name quick, and get it however you can.

Or, Names Hold the Poison
Another time I inspected the luggage tag and noticed his name was Harrison. “Welcome in Mr. Harrison,” I said as I opened the door. A few seconds later I went around to the passenger side and opened the lady’s door. “Mrs. Harrison, welcome in!”

She looked at me with the dirtiest scowl I’ve ever seen.

Because she wasn’t Mrs. Harrison

Eep!

LESSON LEARNED: only use their name if you’re ABSOLUTELY sure.

The Extra Mile is Rarely Crowded
During a 200 person wedding, the father of the bride gave me party favors for all the guests. They were little glass slippers, as the theme for the wedding was Cinderella. He told me to hand them out at the door at the end of the night. Knowing I would be too busy to attempt it later, I spent two hours during the wedding when I had no cars to park placing the shoes on the dashboards of every car. When I opened the door for the guests as they left I said, “Thanks for joining us, and here’s a little gift from Cinderella and Prince Charming.”

My boss receive 8 phone calls from wedding guests who said it was the best valet service they ever had.

LESSON LEARNED: make sure every guest leaves with an unforgettable LAST impression.

Numbers Don’t Lie
During a busy month, I had a problem with my schedule. See, I was a part time employee, yet working WAY too many shifts and hours, proportionate to the other full time employees.

So, during a staff meeting with the GM, I asked for five minutes to explain my problem. I made handouts of my department’s schedule and passed them out to the entire staff. It showed that, for a period of 10 days, I worked 9 days straight, for a total of 54 hours. Then it showed how every other employee in my department worked no more than 7 shifts and 49 hours (including full timers.)

After my 5 minute tyrade, the room fell silent. The GM didn’t know what to say. So I walked out, went back to work for the rest of the day, then quit the following week.

LESSON LEARNED: always stand up for unequal employee treatment.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What lessons have you learned from jobs that sucked?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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Stand out without selling out

Five down, one to go.

I was so close to getting the job I could taste it!

All I had to do was ace this last interview and I was a shoe-in for my new position at the Ritz Carlton.

“OK Scott, this last question is kind of a tough one. Most applicants usually have trouble with it, so just take your time:

Do you have any weaknesses?”

Damn. That IS a tough question.

Should I lie?
Tell him I don’t have any weaknesses?
Or give him the answer he wants to hear?

Well, here goes nothing…

“Sure, I’ll give you four of them,” I said confidently.
“Number one: I’m not a great driver. I know I’m applying for a valet position, but sometimes I make stupid decisions behind the wheel. Heck, I can barely even drive stick!

Number two: I have big eyes. What I mean is, I will scope out every girl that walks through the lobby without realizing that I’m staring. That might get me in trouble with the guests.
Number three: I’m not the most punctual employee. Now, I’m not saying that I’ll be late every day, but you’ll rarely see me come in early.

Number four: I have a big mouth. I often say silly things that might come off as offensive to others.

But the truth is, sir, all four of those weaknesses I just listed – they can be changed. But the one thing about me that will NEVER change is my honesty, and THAT is exactly why you should hire me to work at this hotel.

The next thing I heard was the sound of his jaw hitting the carpet. He looked at me like I just told him I was abducted by aliens from planet Zantar.

After a brief silence, he wrote something down on his legal pad, shifted his weight and leaned back in his chair. He grabbed a quick drink of water and crossed his arms.

I thought I was a goner for sure.

He responded with four words: get outta my office!

I’m just kidding. What he really said was: you got the job!

Initially, I couldn’t believe that answer actually worked. But in retrospect, I realize what happened:

I stood out without selling out.

Interviews. Performance evaluations. Meetings. All that stuff. These are opportunities for you to stand out a make a name for yourself.

Which means (as usual) you have a choice:

1) Sacrifice who you are and what you believe, shrink from the opportunity to showcase your individuality and give the guy on the other side of the desk the answer he expected to hear. Or,

2) Summon the courage to be yourself, say how you really feel, fly in the face of convention and stand out like the unique person that you are.

Do. Not. Go. Quietly.

Ever.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
When was the last time you stood out without selling out?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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I can’t believe I’m actually blogging about this…

I recently sat down to dinner with my girlfirend at the famous Forest Park Boathouse. As usual, we checked out the design of the sugar packets on the table.

<------And this is what we saw Ladies and gentlemen, I'm about to say something I never thought would end up in my blog: these are the coolest sugar packets I’ve ever seen!

Our sweet friends at Equal have created a perfect example of EVERYTHING I’ve been writing about in the past year:

Mundane into Memorable: it’s a damn sugar packet! Doesn’t get more mundane than that. But Equal decided to transform an ordinary confection into brand-breathing brilliance!

When was the last time you took home your sugar packet and showed it to your friends? Or blogged about it?

Do Something Cool: After I read the first few packets on my table, I started walking around to every other table in the restaraunt and stealing their sugar packets. (The other customers probably thought I was diabetic.) But these packets were so cool, I wanted to collect them all! Kind of like baseball cards or McDonald’s Happy Meal toys.

Have Fun: Try to visualize the marketing department of Equal, sitting around a board room table, brainstorming slogans like: Banish the Bland, In Favor of Flavor, Do Your Drink Justice, Embrace the Taste, In Taste We Trust, Power to the Packet! Come on. That’s freaking hilarious. It’s almost so ridiculous, it’s cool.

Remember when UPS started embracing their brand (echh! the color brown?) by asking customers, “What can brown do for you today?”

Same thing. Equal is becoming unforgettable and unique and cool and fun in an otherwise boring market where there is no discernable difference between competing products.

(Oh, and did I mention: it’s a damn sugar packet!?)

Sweet & Low? Regular sugar? Fughettaboudit!

I’m an Equal guy now.

Power to the Packet!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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Yet another free ebook from The Nametag Guy

Last month I released a free ebook about speaking.

It was downloaded a few thousand times, which ain’t bad.

Because I got so many positive emails, calls and comments about it, I decided to write a companion ebook for authors and self publishers. Here she is:

203 Things I’ve Learned about Writing,
Selling and Marketing Books

Three of my favorite tips are:

#37: I would recommend you give away at least one free downloadable ebook a year and post it on your website/blog. It gives value, increases traffic and often results in future sales via click-throughs. (Kind of like I’m doing RIGHT NOW.)

#84: If you don’t want to make this a business, don’t bother.

#196: People don’t want to rent a car; they want to get out of the airport. Think about it: what does your book REALLY DO for your readers?

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What does your book really do for your readers?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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Why can’t I start a conversation with you?

Picture this: you’re standing in a room full of strangers, not talking to a soul. You’re hoping to make at least one connection, but can’t seem to get the ball rolling. Eventually you think, “This is ridiculous. Why can’t I start a conversation with anyone?”

The answer to that question runs deeper than you might think.

Starting conversations not only depends on your communication skills; it’s also a function of your self-confidence. In this article, we will explore 9 common barriers that stand in your way of conversational approachability. (It’s a pretty lengthy piece, so half is here and the other half is on my website.)

BARRIER #1: I don’t want to be rejected.
This is the big one. The number one hindrance to approaching someone else: the fear of rejection.

In Triumph Over Shyness, Philip Zombardo states, “Shy people are often attracted to those who do not return the affection, which is a very painful way of creating safety.”

Yes, it can be scary. But the truth is, rejection is part of life. You can’t evade it forever. Also, assuming that you can’t handle rejection is a mistaken belief. Besides, more often than not, rejection isn’t as bad as you think. After all, what’s so bad about being rejected by someone you hardly even know? Don’t let a few no’s stand in your way of stepping up to bat again in the future.

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Win a few small victories first. Go to the mall and practice approaching cashiers, clerks, salespeople, kiosk operators and the like. They can’t reject you! These smaller successes will build your confidence and equip you with positive experiences to dwell upon in the future.

BARRIER #2: I don’t have anything good to say.
First of all, 93% of all conversation is nonverbal. So, don’t get too hung up on your words. Concentrate on having approachable, open body language first. Smile, don’t cross your arms, maintain open posture, keep your hands away from your face and maintain eye contact with everyone within 4-10 feet of you. Many people – even extroverts – miss the boat on this crucial component of communication.

Secondly, consider this: the only thing people can judge about you is how engaging with you makes them feel. It’s like Mother Theresa said, “People won’t remember what you said, or what you did; but they will never forget the way you made them feel.”

And finally, who says there’s a “right” thing to say all of the time? Not everything you say has to be supremely witty, brilliant or quotable. Again, the secret isn’t in what or how much you have to say, but in how you make people feel. Focus less on YOUR self, YOUR insecurities and YOUR discomfort, and more on the conversational needs of others. Be a great listener. Ask open-ended questions that begin with “What’s your experience?” and “What’s your favorite?” An increased focus on others will help you overlook your own insecurities.

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
If you don’t think you have anything good to say, make a “Conversation Cheat Sheet” before you leave the house. Grab an index card and write out the following: three great questions, three interesting pieces of information, trivia current points of interest and three of your favorite stories you’ve told a million times. That should be enough material to last for weeks!

BARRIER #3: I don’t want to waste that person’s time.
This belief is based on the mistaken assumption that you’re not worth talking to. That you’re not good enough for a few minutes of someone’s precious time.

Wrong. An attitude like this characterizes a negative self-image, which often stems from negative past programming. For example, it’s possible that someone you know – a parent, a teacher, a boss – probably told you “you’re not good enough,” “you don’t matter” or “you’re worthless” in the past.

Sadly, harmful comments like these have a profound effect on the future of your approachability.

HERE’S THE SECRET: in Shad Helmstetter’s What to Say When You Talk To Yourself, he explores the power of your thoughts. His work proves that if you first flood your mind with positive thoughts, you will enhance your self-belief. If you enhance your self believe, you will change your attitude. And if you change your attitude, you will change your actions.

Therefore, the key is simple: change your programming.

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Every morning for one month, read a series of positive, attitude building affirmations. It might sound like a silly exercise, but this stuff works! Try phrases like “I am a confident communicator,” “shyness is not a problem for me,” “I am willing to step out of my comfort zone,” and “I feel relaxed when I communicate with new people.” These affirming phrases are almost certain to raise your confidence level.

BARRIER #4: I have a toothache.
Not that kind of toothache! Here’s what I mean: you’re TOO tall, TOO old, TOO ugly, TOO new, TOO young, TOO inexperienced and the like.

Really? According to whom? Is that what YOU believe; or is that what your friends, parents, the media and others have told you about yourself?

Either way, consider these three facts:

FACT #1: You are what you are because of the way other people see you. We never call ourselves a name until someone else offers us that label first. Interestingly, that happens to be the leading characteristic of most shy people: others tell them that they’re shy.

FACT #2: Change in attitude = change in how you act = change in how people see you = change in how you see yourself. So, cliché as it may sound, it all starts with a positive attitude about yourself. I think Norman Vincent Peale said it best: “Since you must sell yourself before selling your goods, you must sell yourself on yourself. So believe in yourself.”

FACT #3: You are your own worst critic. You are a biased observer and will see what you want to see, not what other people truly see. Remember that.

(Read the remaining 5 barriers here.)

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your #1 answer to the question, “Why can’t I start a conversation with you?”

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Make a list of all of your “toothaches.” Then, reverse them and put “I believe” in front of each along with a positive attribute. Instead of “I’m too old,” write “I believe my age gives me wisdom and experience that can help others.” Read this list to yourself every morning. These affirmations will reprogram, reinforce and rebuild your self-image.

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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