Stop raising your glasses, start lowering your fists

Prohibition didn’t arise because of some puritanical moralist disdain for alcohol use.

The temperance movement was a plight against domestic violence. It started to protect women’s safety, because drunk men were more likely to beat and sexually harass their wives.

Even one hundred years later, today the consumption of alcohol has been linked to increased violence against women. It’s so simple. Men who drink are more likely to hurt women. Period.

Now, this is interesting to me, since youth education rarely mentions that little factoid when they discuss the dangers of drinking. Schools, community organizations and public health campaigns have historically taught children that alcohol is risky because it can lead to negative outcomes like health problems, reduced academic performance, drunk driving, financial burdens, risk of addiction, and so on.

But nowhere are there programs targeting alcohol consumption as the contributing factor to the social issue of violence against women. You don’t see public awareness campaigns like, stop raising your glasses, start lowering your fists.

But maybe there should be. Encouraging less alcohol consumption to prevent downstream negative consequences could be the solution our society needs for our pervasive abuse problem. Imagine if more of our men voluntarily chose not to order alcoholic drinks during designated periods in public venues, as a gesture of solidarity and support to women who have been victims of domestic abuse?

We could finally use virtue signaling to create social change.

Below, I am going to outline a radical program for doing so that has the potential to reverse the tide of domestic abuse nationwide.

Here’s my idea.

We introduce a sober inning at every regular season major league baseball game to raise awareness for violence against women. During this designated period, let’s say the fourth inning, all alcohol sales are paused, both in the stadiums and at bars and restaurants where the games are televised, to create a unique moment where fans unite against violence. This program would challenge traditional social norms and encourage discussions about the importance of ending domestic abuse.

The sober inning symbolizes the sports community’s stand against this epidemic, inspiring fans to actively create a future where everyone feels safe and respected.

I’ve take the liberty of writing a script for the announcement over the stadium speaker system.

Ladies and gentlemen, baseball fans of all ages, in just a few moments, we’ll be entering our sober fourth inning. This is a special time where we’ll be putting the focus on something bigger than the game itself. During this inning, we’ll be pausing all alcohol sales throughout the stadium and in participating broadcast locations. We believe in creating a safer and more respectful environment, not only for the players on the field, but for everyone in this stadium and beyond. In a world where one in three women experience abuse, sober fourth is more than just a moment without alcohol; it’s a powerful statement against violence. Let’s all take a moment to stop raising our glasses, and start lowering our fists. In this inning, we’re saying no to violence and yes to unity, respect, and support for woman. By the way, for all you alcoholics out there, don’t worry, beer sales will resume at the top of the fifth. Cheers!

Naturally, I understand the implementation of our sober inning would involve significant financial considerations, logistical arrangements, and probably piss off a lot of angry, sweaty, overweight alpha males.

But that’s the whole point. In fact, we can train the beverage vendors to deescalate irate male customers who are almost certainly going through alcohol withdrawal. Cashiers and bartenders could respond with empathetic acknowledgement by saying:

Sir, if you think it’s hard being sober for twenty minutes, try being beaten by your spouse for twenty years.

Tell me that wouldn’t reverse the tide of domestic violence.

Remember, you have to think about the virtual signaling aspect of this campaign. Whether it’s a stadium full of forty thousand screaming baseball fans, or a dingy pub with a few hundred fans, situational pressure and social gravity would work in our favor. Most men would be more inclined to participate in the sober inning, as it aligns with their desire to be perceived as strong, respectful and responsible citizens.

The campaign would establish a new social norm. When men see other men actively choosing the pledge, it creates positive peer influence, making them more likely to follow suit.

After all, who wants to be the one dude in the bar ordering a drink during the sober fourth? Bro, you’re doing a shot? Right now? Are you some kind of wife beater?

Also, we should get the jumbotron to show a heartwarming highlight reel during the top and bottom of the fourth inning. The video is a montage of our beloved ballplayers and their wives or mistresses, holding each other in loving embrace. Considering that baseball games draw such large audiences, both in person and on television, I’m confident our sober inning program would attract significant attention from attendees, broadcasters, sponsors, fans and media outlets worldwide.

Sure, alcohol companies will take a nominal revenue dip during the fourth, but they’ll recoup it during the seventh inning stretch, when forty thousand people start getting headaches, nausea, tremors and anxiety.

Ultimately, the visibility would raise awareness about violence against women on a broad scale. Domestic violence would plummet nationwide by the time of the all star break.

Look, I’m not telling sports fans they can’t drink. Prohibition clearly didn’t work in the twenties, and now is no time to bring it back. All we’re asking people is, hey, stay sober for one inning. If only to signal to everyone around you that you care about women not getting the shit beaten out of them.

Yes, I understand fans might be shocked at first. I can already hear the boisterous voices of all those sweaty, angry men, cradling their beers in disbelief. This ain’t no temperance rally! You can’t take away my freedom to enjoy a cold one at the game! This is a sporting event, not church! I didn’t come here for a history lesson, I came here to see homeruns!

Of course the sober inning will be met with skepticism at first. But eventually will touch the hearts of baseball fans, inspiring a newfound sense of unity and compassion in the stands.

When we stop raising our glasses, we start lowering our fists.

Hold my beer.

What other downstream negative consequences could might we prevent with temporary sobriety?