Rollo’s classic book on anxiety and personality explains that condemning yourself is the
quickest way to get a substitute sense of worth. It’s how you drown the bitter
aches from feelings of worthlessness and humiliation.
As if to say, I’m so
noble and I have such high ideals and I am so ashamed of myself, that I fall
short of the standard. In fact, I’m so important that god himself is actually
concerned with punishing me.
Nice try, hero.
The reality is,
condemnation is just a cloak for arrogance. Hating yourself doesn’t make you
special or interesting or creative or humble, it just rots you from the inside
out and makes you exhausting to be around. Which, ironically, blocks you from
making genuine human connections that are necessary to help you feel better.
remember a period in my career when I would beat myself up for sleeping through
my alarm. I’d think to myself, you slept late, you’re a lazy piece of shit and
your life is going to pass you by. Get your ass to work. And then I’d spend the
rest of the day––and night––secluded in a corner, working myself to the
bone, trying to make up for lost time.
And not because I wanted to create art
that brought joy and inspiration to others, but because I wanted to camouflage
my feelings of worthlessness.
A smarter approach would have been to practice
being kind to myself in small, concrete ways. Instead of leaping out of bed in
a frenzied mess, I could have spent thirty seconds giving thanks for the extra
hours of sleep that my body clearly needed.
Instead of wolfing down a
condiment sandwich at my desk, I could have called a friend to enjoy a meal
together. And instead of working straight until midnight, I could have taken a
break midway through the day and practiced yoga with my favorite instructor.
Any of these strategies would have been healthier. Because they would have
involved loving and acting generously myself. Making meaning instead of
monitoring moods. Facing my situation realistically.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Do you love yourself enough to work on what bothers you?
LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
For the list called, “99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren’t One,” send an email to me, and you win the list for free!
* * * *
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.
Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.
Now booking for 2016-2017.
Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of The Nametag Guy in action here!