When people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them

People spend far too much time making assumptions about what’s inside of us. 

And in fact, many of them presume to know us better than ourselves. That’s why they try to enlighten us about who we are, what we should want and why we should want it. 

It’s infuriating. Personally, it makes me feel defensive and controlled. 

And that’s okay. My feelings are valid and normal for any person who feels their identity is being challenge. 

The secret is in the response. Not allowing ourselves to become crushed by the slightest misperception of our identity. And remembering that nobody knows what’s inside of us. 

Moore talked about this experience in his heralded book about the psychological foundation of mature, authentic, and revitalized masculinity. Based on ancient myths and legends, he found that one of the core identity practices was developing our own central calmness about who we are. 

What a beautiful concept. An inner state that arises in us when we feel consistently seen and valued and concretely rewards for our legitimate talents and abilities. 

This not an insignificant accomplishment, either. To train ourselves not to believe what other people tell us about who we are, that takes years and years of practice. 

But it’s certainly a better use of our energy than trying to control other people’s impression of us. 

Because that’s simply exhausting. And outside the sphere of our control. 


What’s your practice for riding the ruddy edges of your truth?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  



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Author. Speaker. Strategist. Songwriter. Filmmaker. Inventor. Gameshow Host. World Record Holder. I also wear a nametag 24-7. Even to bed.
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