It’s important to honor our own natural and healthy urge for independence.
Doing so reinforces our sense of efficacy, agency and power.
But when we cross over to the stubborn desire to perfectly handle everything ourselves, that’s when get into trouble.
Rollo’s book on the cry for myth reminds us how we foolishly think we can take care of ourselves without any support from others. How our pride balks at the thought of calling another person and asking them to be there for us. How we get such a satisfying sense of power out of demonstrating that the world can’t do anything to help our journey.
And my personal favorite, how we get pleasure from telling people who do try to help, that their ideas won’t work for us. Even if, deep down, we know that their ideas will help.
Because we’d rather be right. We’d rather stubbornly choose to do every single thing as an expression of our identity, rather than make ourselves vulnerable to feedback from someone who isn’t us.
It’s funny, alcoholics may say that they are powerless to do anything about their addiction, but antidependents say that the world is powerless to do anything for them. God help us.
Point being, it may be a temporary loss of independence to have someone else help you. But it’s also a permanent gain of connection.
Because reaching out your hand to another, admitting that something is wrong and you can’t fix it alone, that’s what makes you a real human being.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Which three people in your life were most responsible for helping you achieve your success?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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