Shaw famously said that the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has occurred.
But it’s not the only problem. The other challenge in communication is our interpretation about what actually did occur. Because in many cases, the message sent is not the one received.
Drawing from my own experience as a passive aggressive, conflict avoidant, confrontation averse, codependent people pleaser, here are few examples from my relationships. See if any of these connect with you.
What we experience as disapproval is merely directness.
What feels like hostility is simply confrontation.
What sounds like harsh criticism is just sharp observation.
What comes off as rejection is nothing more than a mismatch between ourselves and others.
What appears to be rudeness is just someone who knows what they want and tenaciously goes out to get it.
These examples, whether they apply to your communication style or not, highlight a universal edge within all interpersonal interactions.
Figuring out what’s ours and what’s theirs. Discerning the difference between what someone intended and what we internalized.
It’s a complicated, messy and bizarre dynamic.
Full of assumption and projection and speculation.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What type of communication climate do you create around you? * * * *
That Guy with the Nametag
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