The opposite of honesty isn’t lying.
It’s omitting.
Instead of saying how we really feel, we say nothing. Instead
of telling the truth, we tell ourselves to keep quiet. And the result is very
dangerous form of dishonesty.
For most of my life, I was an omitter: Happy to share my
feelings when asked, but hesitant to volunteer my feelings the rest of the
time.
I had girlfriends who never knew how unfulfilled I was until
the relationship was over. I had roommates who never knew how miserable I was
until I transferred. I had parents who didn’t know how lonely I was until
they read my status updates. I had professors who never knew how lost I was
until I failed the final. I had neighbors who never knew how unhappy I was
until I moved away. I had friends who never knew how scared I was until I had
anxiety attacks. I had coworkers who never knew how frustrated I was until I
got fired. I had mentors who never knew how angry I was until they saw my art.
I had colleagues who never knew how burnt out I was until they read my blog. I
had family members who never knew how stressed out I was until I ended up in the hospital.
That’s what happens when we omit: The people closest to us
feel forever in the dark. They fail to understand our full experience and simply
assume that everything is fine.
When in reality, our heart is ready to explode.
But a few years ago, enough was enough. I was tired of being an
omitter. I was tired of people being surprised every time I told them what was
going on in my life.
So I started being prolific in my communication. I practiced
telling everybody everything, all the time, everywhere. I even started writing
letters to my girlfriend and parents every Sunday. Just to tell them was going
on at that moment in my life, good and bad and in between.
And these days, I feel a lot more honest.
Not because I’m telling the truth, but because I’m simply
telling.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What are your omitting?
LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
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* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Writing, Publishing, Performing, Consulting
HELLO, my name is Host!
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