NametagTV: The Listening Environment

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How are you using your ears as a sales tool?

For a list called, “31 Questions to Test Your Listening Skills,” send an email to me and I’ll send you the list for free!

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

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27 Reasons People Aren’t Listening to You

1. They just don’t care.

2. They haven’t been listened to first.

3. They’ve already heard enough lies.

4. They’re just waiting to take the stage.

5. They’re too busy reacting defensively.

6. They’re tuning you out as a defensive device.

7. They’re too busy trying to change you first.

8. They’re too interested in their own minds.

9. There’s too much noise, internally and externally.

10. They’re only speaking just to hear themselves talk.

11. They think they already know, um, EVERYTHING.

12. They’re impatient and want the bottom line, not your story.

13. They’re not open to what the you’re really trying to say.

14. They’ve resigned to the fact that they’re terrible listeners.

15. They have the human urge to be recognized and affirmed, which means they’re too busy TALKING.

16. They’re too eager to appear sympathetic and a good listener.

17. They’ve never been taught (or learned how to) listen properly.

18. They’d rather give advice, since doing so makes them feel important.

19. Their defensive reactions replace understanding and empathy.

20. They’re afraid they might hear things they don’t want to hear.

21. They assume they already know what you are going to say to them.

22. They avoid conflict because they’re too busy protecting themselves.

23. They think they already know what the other person is (trying) to say.

24. They live in a hyperspeed, A.D.D. culture, and they don’t think they have time to listen.

25. They don’t want to lose (or risk losing) control of the conversation or in general.

26. They’re afraid that they might actually come to see something differently, and maybe even change their mind.

27. Their emotional reactivity was triggered by something you said, and it became so loud (internally), that they couldn’t hear your words (externally).

What do you think causes people (not) to listen?

For a copy of my list called, “13 Roles of The Listener,” send an email to me, and I’ll send you the list for free!

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

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Approachable Managers: Lay a Foundation of Affirmation

Because acknowledgment is a universal human need, listening is (initially) about AFFIRMATION.

Making people feel valued, validated and important.

See, human beings shape their self-image based on how they are responded to by others.

For example:

o If someone grew up hearing messages like, “I don’t wanna hear it right now!” and “Stop asking so many questions!”

…it’s likely that she would develop a reticence when approaching people in the future.

o On other hand, if comments like, “Tell me more!” and “That’s a great question!” were ingrained into someone’s mind…

…his future level of approachability would be dramatically different.

For that reason, your (potential) influence as the listener is powerful.

So, you MUST take the opportunity to lay a foundation of affirmation. That way your employees will authentically open up to you.

AND REMEMBER: Even if you don’t care FOR, approve OF or agree WITH someone’s ideas, when they approach YOU in need of a bended ear, you job is to let them know tha you heard them.

Here’s a quick list of 8 Phrases That Payses to help affirm your speaker:

1. You’re raising an important issue.
2. Great question!
3. I’m really glad you brought that up.
4. When you said (x), that triggered the following thought for me…
5. I’m SO glad you asked that question.
6. Interesting point.
7. That is one option we will need to look at.
8. I was hoping you’d ask that question!

(If you need more, you could always consult your friendly affirmation ball.)

Verbiage like this is positive, approachable and affirming. And the best part is, it advances the conversation into a mutually shared space in which people feel safe to open up to you.

And THAT enables you to learn what’s going on with your employees, uncover problems and suggest solutions.

SO REMEMBER: Growing bigger ears is (first) about laying a foundation of affirmation.

How do you affirm your employees and team members?

Share your three best Phrases That Payses here!

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

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