Daily appointments with yourself

There are 55 strategies in my new book. Right now you are about to read what I believe is the best one. My fave. Numero uno.

Ready?

It’s called a Daily Appointment with Yourself.

I’ve been practicing this technique every single day for five years, and I submit to you that it’s the most valuable habit I’ve ever developed.

Ever.

It all started in Portland. I moved there after college because 1) I didn’t know anybody, 2) I didn’t have a job and 3) I’d never been there before.

All good reasons to go, right?

Anyway, I got a job slingin’ couches at a discount furniture store (more on how much I hated this job later). Now, because it was retail, I knew the days would be long, stressful and trying on my patience. So I decided to start “prepping” myself mentally.

Across the street from my apartment on NW Irving was a place called Coffee Time. Every morning at about 7 AM, I grabbed a cup, found a comfortable chair and got myself situated. Then, for the next hour, I did a combination of the following things:

• Journaling my thoughts
• Reading positive, inspirational books
• Reviewing my goals and personal mission statement
• Meditating through breathing exercises
• Praying on the day, my concerns, etc.
• Emptying my mind of all things negative
• Practicing positive self-talk to develop a great attitude (ahem, chapter two)

By the time I finished my appointment, I felt revitalized, energetic, positive, enthusiastic, happy and ready to take on the day. I was mentally prepared to handle anything the world threw at me because.

That appointment laid the foundation.

I became addicted. I never missed a day. Even on the weekends. And no matter how busy, tired or stressed I was; there was nothing more critical to achieving daily success than my Daily Appointment. As a result, I developed an amazing attitude that began to attract success, happiness and yes, even money, into my life.

Then one day I overslept.

I think it was a Tuesday. I was running late and didn’t have time for my Daily Appointment.

So I skipped it.

BIG mistake.

I missed my bus, forgot to bring my iPod for the commute and ended up rushing to work about 20 minutes late.

I had a terrible day. First one in months. Everything went wrong. I screwed up orders. I snapped at customers. I was annoyed, upset, tired, frustrated and therefore, didn’t sell many couches.

Nine hours later I returned home from a day that felt like it would never end. And as I lay on my bed, I knew exactly where I went wrong.

Since then, I’ve only missed about a dozen daily appointments in five years.

That’s how powerful this habit is. It’s amazing. And I promise, if you start practicing it every single day:

o You will become less stressed
o You will have fewer bad days
o You will develop a more positive & attractive attitude

So, now that you’ve got that extra hour (providing you read the last chapter) here are a few guidelines for setting up your own Daily Appointment. Feel free to modify them to best fit your needs:

1. Solitude. No conversations. No distractions. You need alone time. If you choose to make your appointment at home, tell everyone else in the house that you’re not to be bothered. Treat it like a real appointment with someone very important. Turn off that damn cell phone.

2. Atmosphere. Music helps drown out the outside world and enables you to focus on clearing your mind. I suggest calm, soothing sounds. Headphones work best to really pump the tunes into your mind and help you focus.

3. Supplies. Depending on your routine, you’ll need journals, goal sheets, personal mission statements, positive reading material, headphones, pens, coffee and anything else you need to make this appointment the most comfortable.

4. Time. Before work. Before breakfast. Before working out. Before anything. Trust me, the earlier the better. You need to set the stage for your entire day.

5. Duration. There is no time requirement, although you can’t have much of a Daily Appointment in less than 15 minutes. In fact, a 1999 issue of Transactional Analysis Journal revealed that successful people spend at least 15 minutes every day thinking about how they can improve their lives. And if you think you don’t have that much time in a day, you’re wrong. You don’t have the time NOT to do this. Trust me, it’s worth every second.

6. Components. Although this part is really up to you, some key components include: reading something positive (that means NO newspapers), journaling your thoughts, reviewing goals (HUGE!), doing breathing exercises, practicing daily affirmations and of course, giving thanks. Other activities include praying, meditating, visualizing the success of your day, logging your dreams, etc. Feel free to personalize this appointment according to your needs.

Try it for a month. You WILL notice immediate changes.

Because there’s no appointment more important than the one you have with yourself.

Every day.

(To hear an awesome podcast with Jim Canterucci about this very topic, click here!)

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your favorite daily ritual?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Share how that ritual has changed your daily life here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag

Download Scott’s new book!
Right here, right now, for FREE, no strings.

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Two words of advice

Two words ain’t much. But sometimes it’s just what you need to hear:

1. Next Time. When you (or someone else) messes up, don’t dwell on the mistake for more than a few minutes. Sure, it’s easy to exclaim, “You putz! What the hell were you thinking?” But a better approach would be to say, “Next time, don’t talk on your cell phone while driving.” “Next time” is solution oriented. Patient. Less angry. Less reactive. And most importantly, positive.

2. Until now. In the book University of Success, Og Mandino suggests using these two words to thwart self-limiting beliefs. Instead of thinking, “I suck at public speaking!” or “I’m a terrible writer,” say to yourself, “Until now, I’ve had limited success with public speaking,” or, “Until now, my writing has been sub-par.” The key is to add a resolution phrase afterward. For example, “Until now, my writing has been sub-par. But I’m confident that practicing every day will improve my skills.” Start thinking in the right direction. Forget about how bad you used to be. Imagine how great you’re going to become.

3. What’s next? The first boss I had out of college was the owner of a discount furniture store. She’d write, “What’s next?” on note cards all around the store. See, at Pam’s store, there was always something to do. Always something to improve. Yes sir, no employee would ever go bored while SHE was around! And it worked, too. “What’s next?” kept us on task. Always thinking about the future. The next sale. The next customer. What’s next for you?

4. Not yet. These two words are the perfect substitute for the word NO. Less of a rejection. Less negative. And perfect to use in response to someone who doubts your efforts. What’s more, “Not yet” implies improvement. For example, let’s say you tell a friend you plan to write a book. She says, “Really! Cool. But do you actually know anything about writing books?” And then with a big smile on your face, you reply, “Not yet.” Your friend smiles back. Because she just KNOWS that book will get done.

LET ASK YA THIS…
What are your best two words of advice?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
Post ’em here!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com

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The Attitude of Approachability

Last week I finished reading What To Say When You Talk To Yourself.

Fantastic book. I can’t believe I didn’t read it five years ago. And it got me thinking…

…that a nametag would be utterly useless without a great attitude to go with it.

And since I always seem to get questions about attitude, I wanted to share a collection of positive, attitude building affirmations to help you self-talk your way to increased approachability.

(If you feel dumb reading these to yourself every day, don’t worry. I’ve been doing it for years and sometimes I still feel dumb! But it works.)

• I am an approachable professional. I can both approach – and be approached by – important people.

• I choose to maintain an approachable attitude. I believe that every encounter is one in which I can learn, help others and expand my references, networks and experiences.

• I feel relaxed. When I engage with customers, coworkers and friends, they are put at ease and feel comfortable when working with me.

• I am confident. When I walk into a room, my smile, body language and appearance project happiness, enthusiasm and joy. I’m sure that wherever I go, I will meet new, cool people; I will learn new, cool stuff; and others will be glad they encountered me.

• I am a great conversationalist. I ask intriguing, creative, thought provoking questions that give people permission to open up. I am skilled at started, sustaining, transitioning and exiting conversations with individuals and groups.

• I am an even greater listener. I listen twice as much as I talk and make myself personally and physically available to others. I’m curious, not judgmental; and people known they can come to me with their ideas, problems, or anything else.

• I choose to be easily accessible. People can get a hold of me without frustration.

• I am attractive. Customers and coworkers are magnetized to me because of my superior attitude, ability to make them smile and willingness to assure that they feel comfortable.

• Shyness is not a problem for me. No matter what my friends, parents, teachers or the media say, I can easily and comfortably engage with others over the phone, via email or in person without apprehension.

• I have learned to recognize that fear is outweighed by benefit. Although stepping out of my comfort zone might be tough at first, it’s always worth it in the end. And even if I look like an idiot; I know that it’s no big deal, and that I’m better because of it.

• I win small victories first. In order to develop greater communication confidence, I achieve success in smaller situations first. Then, when I’m faced with something bigger and harder, it is this confidence I draw upon to face these new challenges with enthusiasm and readiness.

LET ME SUGGEST THIS…
I challenge you to read these to yourself every morning for a month. Just try it. See what happens. Email me when you’re done to let me know how your attitude has changed.

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag

Are you That Guy?

Find out in Scott’s latest book at www.hellomynameisscott.com!

Small Victories First

(This post was inspired by parts 1 & 2 of recent audience FAQ’s )

Small victories build momentum.
Small victories validate self-assurance.
Small victories pave the way for later success.
Small victories enable you to take bolder action.
Small victories stretch your boundaries one mile at a time.

This goes for everything: dating, sports, conversation, business, shyness, speaking in public and the like. You must win small victories first. For example:

• If you’re terrified of public speaking, try giving a toast at the family dinner table.

• If you’re afraid of approaching strangers, go to the mall and strike up conversations with people who won’t reject you: clerks, salespeople and cashiers.

• If you’re reluctant to make sales calls, ring a few companies and ask several product-related questions to warm yourself up.

• If you’re fearful of writing and publishing articles, start a blog and post short entries to test the waters and get feedback from readers.

• If you’re scared of approaching a cute girl in a bar, try chatting with the cute bartender first.

• If you’re nervous about giving a speech in front of 300 people, go to a club and sing karaoke in front of 50 people.

Ultimately, we’re talking about confidence: in yourself, in your abilities, in your business, in your ideas and in your beliefs. And no matter what level you’re at right now, it is through small victories that your confidence experiences a boost. In the words of Anais Nin, “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”

But let’s go back to the origin of confidence: self-limiting beliefs. I’m often asked by my audience members, “Approachability? But what if I’m shy? What if I’m introverted?”

Good questions. In fact, since I’ve been asked those questions so many times lately, I’ve been brushing up on my shyness research. And without getting too scientific or psychological, here’s what I learned:

• Shy people are confined to the reality of the past instead of the potential of the future (Goodbye to Shy, 143).
• Shy people don’t think others are worth talking to anyway (Don’t Be Shy, 31).
• Shy people believe it’s their “fate,” and were born to be ignored (Help for Shy People, 98).
• Shy people have one thing in common: they’ve all been told they were shy by other people (Help for Shy People, 20).

But this isn’t about shy people – this is about ALL people. These facts represent the true nature of confidence as a function of self-limiting beliefs. It reminds me of great quotation by my favorite author, Anonymous, “If you put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.”

Because you are what you believe.

First example: if you believe your past victories were just flukes; that you simply “lucked out,” you’re creating a dangerous pattern which focuses on the losses rather than the gains. As a result, this pattern will produce a negative attitude, thereby disabling self-confidence in future situations.

VICTORY LAP #1: focus on past successes instead of failures. Figure out what you did right, believe that it will happen again, and then repeat those positive actions.

Second example: if you believe you were born or raised a certain way, or that some ridiculous 70 question test which indicated your personality type pigeonholed you into becoming who you are, remember: people change. Every day. You don’t have to be your past.

VICTORY LAP #2: make a list of five characteristics you possessed growing up. Read the list aloud, and if you don’t like it, rip it up. Hell, burn it if you can! (Unless you’re in the airport.)

Final example: if you believe you are who you are because that’s what people always told you, remember these two quotations: “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent,” (Eleanor Roosevelt), and “It ain’t what they call you; it’s what you answer to,” (W.C. Fields).

VICTORY LAP #3: think about the way people have always described you. Consider how those words have shaped your confidence.

Now that you have a better understanding of how your beliefs affect self-confidence (or lack thereof), use these five steps as a guide for your next small victory:

1. Recognize. No matter how small, take the time to say to yourself, “That was a victory! I just won. I overcame something that was previously difficult. Awesome.”

2. Rejoice. Find a way to celebrate. Get a little bell for your desk. (I ring my bell every time I book a speech or sell a book.) Jump up and down. Say a prayer. Give thanks. Give a high-five to someone in your office.

3. Record. Keep a Victory Log. Write down the time, date, type of victory, what self-limiting belief(s) you overcame to achieve it and WHY you overcame it.

4. Review. At the end of each week, go back through your journal and take note of your victories. Give thanks for all of them.

5. Replicate. Think about the week ahead: how will you expand those victories into larger successes?

I think the famous poet Bryant McGill said it best, “Minor successes, when added together, can become the sum of change.”

That’s the key to self-confidence: small victories first.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What’s your most recent small victory?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That Guy with the Nametag

Are you That Guy?
Find out in Scott’s latest book at www.hellomynameisscott.com

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Tag: attitude of approachability

Daily appointments with yourself

Two words of advice

The Attitude of Approachability

Small Victories First