One of my favorite psychologists explained that people fall into the trap of believing that things are supposed to go well.
And so, when we make a mistake or a difficulty comes along, we assume that something must have gone horribly wrong.
But it didn’t. It’s simply life doing what it does. And we need to accept the fact that, along with nine billion other people on the planet, we’re flawed and imperfect individuals, and we’re just as likely as anyone else to be hit by the slings and arrows of outrageous, but often perfectly normal, misfortune.
Buddhists call this approach to life maitri, which is developing loving kindness in our unconditional friendship with ourselves.
And it means putting an end to a few of our unhealthier habits.
Like heaping blame on ourselves when we stumble. Like judging ourselves for having been wrong. Like berating ourselves because we expect too much out of our own behavior.
Whatever misfortune happens upon us, big or small, none of these things help.
If we’re busy treating out mind like a battleground where we tear ourselves up, matiri has no space in which to enter.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Do your treat yourself with unconditional positive regard when things don’t go as well as you feel they should?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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